Reality Shift - Gravity Falls
by Atomspliter
Summary: When Cassie left the Bakugan Reality after defeating Mag Mel, she thought her life couldn't get any weirder. She was wrong! Where she ended up was the weirdest place in all of standard time and space: Gravity Falls. What adventures await her with the Pines family? In this story, I own nothing but Cassie and references to previous Reality Shift stories.
1. Mysterious Entry

**Here we go again! I know it's far later than we all wanted it to be (heck, I was thinking I'd be able to get this started in _February_!) but it's here now. I hope you all enjoy the chapter!**

 _My story begins in a place very much out of the ordinary. But before I get to that, I suppose I should introduce myself. Hello! My name is Cassie. Not too long ago, I helped my cousin and friends save one of our own: Chaos. After that, I decided to leave the Bakugan Reality to try and find the Reality I needed to go to. I guess that brought me here. Anyways, I'm a Reality Shifter. I can be between Realities and yada yada yada. Etcetera, etcetera. Now then, I'm betting you're all excited to check out my story!_

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

Dipper was thinking to himself on the bus. "It all began when our parents decided we could use some fresh air. They shipped us up north to a sleepy town called Gravity Falls, Oregon, to stay at our Great Uncle's place in the woods." The bus stopped.

"Gravity Falls. Final stop."

"Well, that's us." Said Dipper. He woke Mabel up, and they got off the bus. In front of them was the Mystery Shack. They walked up to it and knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" Asked someone.

"Uh, Dipper and Mabel." Said Dipper. "We're looking for Stanford Pines." The door creaked open.

"And how do you know him?"

"He's our great uncle!" Said Mabel.

"Well why didn't you just say so?" The door opened, revealing Stan. "Your parents called ahead. While I wasn't all that thrilled, I got to thinking. I'll tell you later. Come inside, quickly." He ushered Dipper and Mabel in, then quickly shut the door. "You two go explore a little bit. Your room is upstairs." Mabel, of course, immediately ran upstairs. She started unpacking and putting up her posters.

"This attic is amazing!" She turned to Dipper. "Check out all my splinters!" She showed him her hands, which were covered. Dipper walked backwards, looking at everything. He bumped into a Goat on his bed. It bleated.

"And there's a goat on my bed."

"Hey friend!" Said Mabel, walking over to it. It began eating her sweatshirt. "Oh! Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater." She laughed.

"My sister does tend to look on the bright side of things." Thought Dipper. "But I know I was going to have a hard time getting used to our new surroundings." They went outside, and Mabel began rolling down a nearby hill.

"Grass!" Dipper started writing in a journal when someone snuck up on him, wearing a mask.

"Boo!" Dipper jumped away and screamed. He then fell on his back. Stan removed the mask and laughed.

"Of course that's how our great uncle would act." Stan began coughing.

"It was worth it!"

"He had transformed his house into a tourist trap he called the Mystery Shack. The real mystery is why anybody even comes to it." Stan led the twins back inside and put them to work. "And of course we get to do the work around here." Mabel reached out to touch a giant eyeball when Stan smacked her hand.

"No touching the merchandise!"

"It seemed like it was going to be a very boring summer. At least, until a few very special days happened in a row."

* * *

Stan, Dipper, Mabel and Soos were sitting around the table. Mabel was of course excited because of her new surroundings. Dipper, not so much. "It's amazing out here!" Said Mabel.

"Eh, it's home." Said Stan. "So, who's ready for tomorrow's to-do list?" He pulled out a piece of paper, and it unfolded a few times. "Okay, first thing first. The water main broke today. Soos, you're going to fix it!"

"Aye sir." Stan began reading down the list, and Dipper looked to the side. What he saw startled him.

"What the?" Stan, Mabel and Soos looked where he was looking.

"What the is right!" Said Stan. "How did she get in here?" A girl had just appeared out of nowhere, and seemed to be unmoving.

"Maybe she's friendly!" Said Mabel. She went over to the girl and flipped her over. The girl didn't respond.

"Hey you!" Said Stan. "What're you doing in my house?" Still no response.

"Uh, dudes, maybe we should wait until she wakes up to start questioning her?" Suggested Soos.

"As much as I would like to throw her out now," started Stan, "seeing her reaction when I throw her out will be much more entertaining! Alright, she can stay until she wakes up. Now, back to the list for tomorrow."

* * *

The next day, Mabel popped up in a gap between two Stan bobble heads, watching a boy who had just picked up her note. "He's looking at it." She whispered. "He's looking at it!"

"Uh, do you like me?" Read the boy. "Yes. Definitely. Absolutely?" He looked around.

"I rigged it." Said Mabel.

"Mabel," said Dipper. Mabel looked at him, "I know you're going through your whole boy crazy phase, but I think you're kinda overdoing it with the crazy part." Dipper cleaned a jar with eyes in it.

"What?" Asked Mabel. She blew her tongue and walked over to him. "Come on Dipper! This is our first summer away from home. It's my big chance to have an epic summer romance!"

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?" Asked Dipper. He reminded her of all the boys she had flirted with.

"Mock all you want, brother, but I got a good feeling about this summer! I wouldn't be surprised if the man of my dreams walked through that door right now!" Stan walked in, carrying some wood and a soda. He burped.

"Not good." He burped again. "Not now!"

"Oh, why?" Asked Mabel. Dipper laughed.

"All right, all right, look alive people!" Said Stan. "I need someone to go hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest."

"Not it." Said Dipper.

"Not it." Said Mabel.

"Uh, also not it." Said Soos.

"Nobody asked you, Soos." Said Stan.

"I know. But I'm comfortable with that." Soos took a bite out of a chocolate bar.

"Wendy! I need you to put up this sign."

"I would but I can't" she reached for it from her seat, "reach it."

"I'd fire all of you if I could." Said Stan. "Okay, let's make it eni, meni, mini, you." He pointed at Dipper.

"Oh, what?" Asked Dipper. "Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched."

"Ugh, this again."

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town. Just today, my mosquito bites spelled out beware." He showed Stan the bites.

"That spells bewarb." Dipper scratched his arm. "Look kid, the whole monsters in the forest thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me to sell merch to people like that." He pointed to a customer. He dropped the signs into Dipper's hands. "So quit being so paranoid!" Dipper sighed, and went out. The wind began blowing as he got to work. He quickly put up the first dozen signs, then got to work on the next one.

"Ugh, Grunkle Stan. Nobody ever believes anything I say." He hung up the next one, then moved to the next tree. He tried to put the nail in, but heard a metallic clang. "Huh?" He looked at the hammer, then back to where he tried to put the nail in. He put his ear up against it, then banged the hammer against the tree. He slid his hand over it, then opened the compartment. Dust fell out as Dipper looked inside to see an odd device. He looked back, then back to the machine. He played with the switches a bit, scaring the goat as a trap door opened. Dipper looked at it, then walked over to it. "What the?" Inside was a bunch of cobwebs and some sort of book. Dipper grabbed it, then blew the dust off. A six fingered hand and the number 3 were very prominent. He tilted the book and the hand flashed. He put it on the ground, looked around, then opened it. He looked at the monocle before turning the page. Then he began reading. "It's hard to believe it's been six years since I've began studying the strange but wondrous secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." He turned the page again to see a few notes. Then again. And again. "What is all this?" He turned the page again. "Unfortunately, my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched. I must hide this book before he finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls, there's no one you can trust." Dipper closed the book. "No one you can trust."

"Hello!" Yelled Mabel. Dipper screamed and almost dropped the book. "What ya reading? Some nerd thing?"

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

"Uh, nothing!" Mocked Mabel before laughing. "Are you actually not going to show me?" The goat began trying to eat the book.

"Uh." Dipper looked at the goat. "Let's go somewhere private." The two went back to the Shack and Dipper began explaining. "It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was being paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa!" Said Mabel. "Shut up!" She pushed Dipper back a bit.

"And get this! After a certain point, the pages just stop. Like the guy who was writing it, mysteriously disappeared." The doorbell rang. "Who's that?"

"Well, time to spill the beans." Said Mabel. She knocked over a can of bean that was sitting nearby. "Beans." She laughed. "This girl's got a date! Woo woo!" She fell back into the chair.

"Let me get this straight." Said Dipper. "In the half hour I was gone you already found a boyfriend?" Mabel sat back up on the arm of the chair.

"What can I say? I guess I'm just irresistible!" The doorbell rang again. "Oh! Coming!" She ran for the door and Dipper sat on the chair. Stan walked into the doorway.

"What ya reading there, slick?"

"Oh, I was just catching up on uh" he hid the journal behind the chair pillow and grabbed the magazine that was next to the chair, "Gold Chains for Old Men magazine?"

"That's a good issue." Said Stan, sipping his soda.

"Hey family!" Said Mabel. Stan and Dipper looked at her. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" The person next to her turned.

"Sup."

"Hey." Said Dipper.

"How's it hanging?" Asked Stan.

"We met at the cemetery." Said Mabel. "He's really deep!" She rubbed his arm. "Oh! A little muscle there. What a surprise."

"So, what's your name?" Asked Dipper.

"Uh, Normal Man." Said the dude.

"He means Norman." Said Mabel.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Asked Dipper. Something began dripping off Norman's face.

"It's jam." Mabel gasped.

"I love jam!" She patted his chest. "Look at this!"

"So, you wanna go hold hands, or, whatever?" Asked Norman.

"Oh, oh my goodness." Said Mabel. She giggled. "Don't wait up!" She dashed off. Norman pointed at Dipper, rammed into the door frame, and followed Mabel. Something crashed.

"There is something about Norman that isn't right." Thought Dipper. Someone else came into the room.

"Where, where am I?" Asked the girl from before.

"Gah!" Said Stan, who was deep into his magazine. "Don't sneak up like that!" He saw the girl. "Hey! It's you! The little interloper who snuck in here yesterday. What are you doing in here?"

"Can I at least know where I am first?"

"You're in the Mystery Shack."

"The Mystery Shack?" Asked the girl. "As in, THE Mystery Shack? Awesome!"

"What?" Asked Stan. that was not the response he was expecting. "Listen little girl, you're not welcome here. Now skedaddle, before I get mean."

"Stan Pines, you've never gotten that mean at anybody before, so why now?" Asked the Girl.

"Okay, you're starting to creep me out a bit. How did you know my name?"

"And speaking of which, what's yours?" Asked Dipper.

"Well, I have a very simple explanation for your questions. I'm Cassie, a Reality Shifter."

"You're a whatsit?" Asked Stan. He began thinking. "You know what, I've changed my mind. You can stay here, if you agree to work for no pay."

"Deal." Said Cassie. "This is going to be fun!" Dipper paid her no mind, and went upstairs, determined to check his journal. He came upon something.

"Known for their pale skin and bad attitudes, these creatures are often mistaken for" he gasped "teenagers! Beware Gravity Falls's nefarious" he envisioned Norman in the image.

"Sup." Said the imaginary Normal.

"Zombie!" Yelled Dipper. It echoed through the house.

* * *

Stan was adjusting his tie. "Did somebody say 'crombie'? What is a crombie? It's not even a word. You're losing your mind."

* * *

Dipper looked out the window to see Mabel and Norman. Norman was walking towards Mabel like a zombie. "I like you." Said Mabel.

"Oh no!" Said Dipper. "Mabel!" Norman kept walking. "No no Mabel! Watch out!" Norman reached her, held his hands up, grabbed Mabel, and put a necklace of flowers around her, much to Dipper's surprise.

Mabel gasped. "Daisies? You scallywag!" Dipper looked away from the window and stepped down onto the floor.

"Is my sister really dating a zombie, or am I just going nuts?"

"It's a dilemma to be sure." Said Soos, who was in the room the entire time. Dipper gasped. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

Soos adjusted the light fixture above, thinking. "How many brains did you see the guy eat?" Dipper sighed.

"Zero."

"Look dude, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman. Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf." Soos thought back to seeing the mailman last. "But you gotta have evidence. Otherwise people are going to think you're a major league cuckoo clock."

"As always Soos, you're right."

"My wisdom is both a blessing, and a curse." Said Soos.

"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Called Stan.

"I am needed elsewhere." Said Soos. He walked backwards out of the room. Dipper looked back at Mabel and Norman, and didn't see Cassie walk in.

"Need any help gathering evidence?" She asked. Dipper jumped and looked at her.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Me? Not sure. But I know I want to help."

"Fine." Said Dipper. "It's time to collect evidence!" He and Cassie began following Mabel and Norman around, Dipper recording everything and taking pictures. They watched Norman miss a Frisbee and fall over, then him bashing in a window to open the door to the town cafe. They followed them to the cemetery and watched Norman fall into an open grave and come back out. Dipper was certain he'd seen enough, but Cassie knew that his conclusion was the wrong one. The next day, Dipper walked into the room to see Mabel brushing her hair. "Mabel, we've gotta talk about Norman."

"Isn't he the best?" Asked Mabel. "Check out this giant smooch mark he gave me!" Mabel showed Dipper the side of her face, which was swollen. Dipper yelled and she laughed. "Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower." She retold what she did. "That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to that Norman is not what he seems." Dipper brought out the journal.

Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a vampire? That would be so awesome!"

"Not quite." Said Cassie, walking in.

"Guess again, dear sister." Said Dipper. He showed her the journal. "Shabam!" It was turned to the gnomes page. Mabel screamed. "Oh wait, I'm sorry." He flipped the page a few times. "Shabam!" It was now on the zombie page.

"A zombie?" Asked Mabel. "That is not funny, Dipper."

"I'm not joking!" Said Dipper. "It all adds up. The bleeding, the limp. He never blinks! Have you noticed that?"

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." Said Mabel.

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls? Trust no one!"

"Well, what about me? Why can't you trust me?" Mabel put star shaped earrings on. "Beep bop."

"Mabel! He's going to eat your brain!"

"Dipper, listen to me." Said Mabel. "Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock." Dipper was shocked. "And I'm going to be adorable" she pushed Dipper, "and he's going to be dreamy." She pushed him out of the room.

"But but"

"And I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" Mabel slammed the door on him. Cassie was behind him. He sighed.

"What am I going to do?"

"Try and prove it." Said Cassie. Before long, the clock struck five and the doorbell rang again.

"Coming!" Said Mabel. She ran down the stairs while putting on a cat sweatshirt. She opened the door. "Hey Norman, how do I look?" She pulled her sweatshirt out a bit so he could read it.

"Shiny." Replied Norman.

"You always know what to say!" Said Mabel. The two began walking away as Dipper watched.

"Soos is right." Said Dipper. "I don't have any real evidence." He began rewatching the videos he took.

"You might be surprised." Said Cassie, next to him.

"Gah!" Yelled Dipper. "How do you keep doing that?"

"Keep watching. You might see something." Said Cassie. Dipper turned his attention back to the camera.

"I guess I can be kinda paranoid" he saw Norman's hand fall off and him putting it back on, "and wait, what?!" He rewound the video a bit, rewatched, then screamed. He nearly flipped the chair over, but Cassie grabbed it and put it upright again before it fell. "I was right! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Grunkle Stan!" He ran out of the room.

"I knew it." Said Cassie.

"Grunkle Stan!" Stand was in front of an audience.

"And here we have 'rock that looks like a face' rock. The rock that looks like a face."

"Does it look like a rock?" Asked someone.

"No, it looks like a face." Said Stan.

"Is it a face?"

"It's a rock that looks like a face!" Dipper tried to get Stan's attention. "For the fifth time, it's not an actual face!" Dipper started getting very worried.

* * *

Mabel stopped walking. "Finally. We're alone." Norman walked up behind her.

"Yes." He said. "Alone."

* * *

"Stan! Stan!" Called Dipper. He looked to the side to see Wendy driving the cart up. "Wendy!" He ran up to her. "Wendy! Wendy! I need to borrow the Golf Cart so I can save my sister from a zombie!" Wendy smiled, and dropped the key into his hand.

"Try not to hit any pedestrians." Dipper smiled and got into the cart. He got it started.

"Don't think you're going without me!" Said Cassie and she climbed in.

"Cassie?"

"Do you want to save your sister or not?" Dipper got the cart going quickly, backwards.

"Dude, it's me, Soos." Said Soos, stepping to the side of the cart. Dipper stopped the cart. He handed Dipper a shovel. "This is for the zombies."

"Thanks." Said Dipper.

"And this is in case you see a piñata." Soos handed Dipper a bat.

"Uh, thanks?" Dipper continued driving backwards.

"Better safe than sorry!" Dipper drove down the path Mabel and Norman had taken.

* * *

Norman turned away from Mabel. "Mabel, now that we've gotten to know each other, there's" he took a deep breath "there's something I should tell you." The wind blowed ominously.

"Oh Norman, you can tell me anything!" Said Mabel, smiling. "Please be a vampire, please be a vampire." The thought.

"Alright. Just, just don't freak out, okay?" Norman turned to her. "Just keep an open mind. Be cool." He began to unzip his jacket, and took it off, revealing a bunch of gnomes. "Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" Asked the top one. "R-right, I'll explain. So, we're gnomes, first off. Get that one out of the way." Mabel was very confused.

"Uh."

"I'm Jeff. And here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and I'm sorry, I always forget your name."

"Shmebulock."

"Shmebulock! Yes!" Mabel sat down on a stone. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been looking for a new queen. Right guys?"

"Queen!" Said the gnomes.

"Heh. So, what do ya say?" Jeff tapped Steve's head with his foot and Jason kneeled down. Carson bent his tree branch arm to reveal a box, which opened, revealing a very big ring. "Will you join us in holy matronomy, matra, matramony. Blah! Can't talk today."

Mable took a quick breath. "Look, I'm sorry guys. You're really sweet but, I'm a girl and you're gnomes. And it's like, what? Yikes."

"We understand." Said Jeff. "We'll never forget you Mabel," Mabel smiled, "because we're gonna kidnap you."

"Huh?" Jeff jumped at her and she screamed.

* * *

"Don't worry Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!" Yelled Dipper as he and Cassie rode down the trail.

"Help!" Yelled Mabel. Dipper heard her and drove down a small cliff.

"Hold on!"

"This is fun!" Said Cassie, holding on tightly to the cart. They looked ahead to see the gnomes.

"The more you struggle, the more awkward this is going to be for everybody!" Said Jeff. "Just, ho - ok, get her arm there, Steve."

"Let go of me!" Said Mabel. She grabbed Steve and punched him away. Then she kicked another one away, which started puking up a rainbow.

"What the heck is going on here?" Asked Dipper. He was holding the shovel as he and Cassie got out of the cart. One gnome ran past them and hissed at them before continuing on his way.

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes!" Said Mabel. "And they're total jerks!" She hit one on the head, but he grabbed her hair. "Hair! Hair! Hair!"

"Gnomes." Said Dipper. "Okay, I was way off." He looked in the journal. "Gnomes. Little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses, unknown." He looked up from the journal to see Mabel trapped in some ropes on the ground.

"Oh come on!"

"Hey! Hey!" Yelled Dipper as he walked up to Jeff. "Let go of my sister!"

"Oh!" Said Jeff before he laughed. "Hey there! Um, you know, this is really all just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in danger, she's just marrying all 1000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt faces!" Said Mabel. One of the gnomes quickly put his hands over her mouth.

"Give her back right now, or else." Said Dipper.

"You think you can stop us, boy?" Threatened Jeff. "You have no idea what we're capable of! The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with" Dipper used the shovel to scoop up Jeff and toss him away. "Ah!" Dipper then cut the ropes using it. The gnomes rushed Mabel, who jumped up, knocking them down, and ran for the cart. The twins and Cassie got on. "They're getting away with our queen! No no no!" Mabel got buckled in as Cassie got a firm hold on the cart.

"Seatbelt." Said Dipper. He quickly spun the cart around and began driving away. The gnomes began yelling.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy!" Said Jeff. "Gnomes of the forest, Assemble!" He yelled. Gnomes began popping out everywhere and surrounded Jeff. They began latching together, building a much larger creature.

* * *

Dipper, Mabel and Cassie continued to drive away. "Hurry!" Said Mabel. "Before they come after us!"

"I wouldn't worry about it." Said Dipper. "Did you see their little legs? Those suckers are tiny."

"They might only be ten inches alone, but that're plentiful." Said Cassie. The ground began shaking. Dipper stopped the cart. "Don't stop! Go!" Behind them, a giant gnome began walking up, built from the gnomes. Dipper and Mabel looked back.

"Dang." Said Mabel.

"All right!" Said Jeff. "Teamwork! Like we practiced guys!" The giant gnome roared.

"Move! Move!" Said Mabel. Dipper got the cart back in gear and moving just as a giant fist came down. The gnomes disassembled, but quickly came back together.

"If I had Janthide, I'd be able to counter them." Said Cassie.

"Who's Janthide?" Asked Mabel.

"Something for later." Said Cassie. "Keep driving!"

"Come back with our queen!" Said Jeff.

"It's getting closer!" Said Mabel. The gnomes drew closer, then Jeff pressed a hat forward. Four gnomes shot out at the cart. Two landed easily, but one of them bounced off. The other ripped into the top of the cart, then came down on Mable's side. She elbowed him away. Shmebulock jumped up behind Dipper, who grabbed him with one hand and smashed him against the wheel.

"Shmebulock!" Dipper threw him at the wheel, sending him away. Another landed on the hood and jumped at Dipper. It began scratching his face.

"I'll save you Dipper!" Said Mabel. She punched it, but it wouldn't come off.

"I got this one!" Said Cassie, grabbing the gnome. She tossed it away as it snarled at her. It took Dipper's cap with him.

"Thanks guys." Said Dipper, face badly hurt.

"Don't mention it." Said Mabel.

"Get going!" Said Cassie. The giant gnome grabbed a tree and threw it in front of the cart. It landed across the trail, blocking access.

"Look out!" Said Mabel. Dipper swerved, narrowly missing the roots, and got back on the path. The cart skid along the trail, landed sideways and continued on, stopping near the shack. It was badly damaged, but the occupants were mostly fine. The giant gnome walked up as they came out.

"Stay back man!" Said Dipper, grabbing the shovel. He threw it at the gnome, who hit it and smashed it. Dipper and Mabel screamed. "Uh, where's Grunkle Stan?" Inside, Stan was entertaining tourists.

"Behold! The world's most distracting object!"

"Ooh!"

"Just try to look away! You can't!" All their faces dropped. "Now I can't even remember what I was talking about." Outside, the gnome approached Dipper, Cassie and Mabel, who backed up into the wall.

"It's the end of the line, kids!" Said Jeff. "Mabel! Marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There's gotta be a way out of this!" Said Dipper. He reached for the journal.

"I've gotta do it." Said Mabel.

"What?" Asked Dipper. "Mabel! Don't do this! Are you crazy?"

"Trust me."

"What?"

"Dipper, just this once. Trust me!"

"I'd trust her if I was you." Said Cassie. Dipper looked at the giant gnome, then at Mabel. He stepped back, along with Cassie. Mabel walked towards the gnome.

"Alright Jeff, I'll marry you." The giant gnome did a small victory dance.

"Hot dog! Help me down there Jason. Thanks Andy! Okay, left foot, there we go. Watch those fingers Mike." Jeff came out of the gnome's leg. He held the ring out to Mabel. She put her hand out for him to put on, and he did so eagerly. "Bada bing bada bam! Now let's get you back into the forest, honey!" He began to walk away.

"You may now kiss the bride." Said Mabel.

"Well!" Said Jeff. "Don't mind if I do." He turned around and made a kissing motion towards Mabel, who seemed to go with it, but just as Jeff closed his eyes Mabel turned on the leaf blower and pointed it at him. "Hey! Wait a minute!" Jeff backed away. All the gnomes gasped. "Whoa! Whoa! What's going on?" He was sucked into the leaf blower.

"That's for lying to me!" Said Mabel. Jeff looked at her in fear as she turned the blower further to reverse. "That's for breaking my heart!" Jeff got sucked in deeper into the blower's barrel.

"Ow! My face!"

Mabel smiled at Dipper and Cassie. "And this is for messing with my brother and my new friend!" She took aim at the giant gnome.

"Want to do the honors?" Asked Mabel.

"On three." Said Dipper. He and Cassie put their hands on it.

"1. 2. 3!" They said. Dipper and Cassie turned the blower to full forward and all three were blasted back from the force of launching Jeff. He slammed into the center of the giant gnome, shattering it.

"I'll get you back for this!" Yelled Jeff as he flew back into the forest. The gnomes began raining down.

"Who's giving orders?" Asked one. "I need orders!"

"My arms are tired." Said another one. Mabel put the blower next to him and started blowing him away.

"Anyone else want some?" Asked Dipper. The gnomes scattered into the woods. One got stuck in a discarded plastic soda container, which the goat grabbed and began trying to eat. It ran off with the gnome. The three began walking inside.

"Hey Dipper, I uh," started Mabel, "I'm sorry for ignoring your advice. You really were just looking out for me."

"Oh, don't be like that." Said Dipper. "You saved our butts back there!"

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." Said Mabel.

"Look on the bright side." Said Dipper. "Maybe the next one will be a vampire."

"Oh, you're just saying that." Said Mabel, tapping his arm.

"Awkward sibling hug?"

"I'll go inside for this." Said Cassie, walking in the door.

"Awkward sibling hug." Said Mabel. The two hugged, then patted each other's backs.

"Pat, pat." They said. They then went inside and looked at Stan.

"Yeash, you two get hit by a bus or something?" He asked. He laughed at his own joke, but Mabel and Dipper just continued walking. He looked at the wad of cash in his hand. "Uh, hey!" They looked at him. "Wouldn't you know it, I accidentally overstocked some inventory, so, uh, hows about each of you takes one item from the gift shop, on the house, you know?"

"Really?" Asked Mabel.

"What's the catch?" Asked Dipper.

"The catch is do it before I change my mind." Said Stan. "So just take something." He opened the register and started counting his money. Dipper and Mabel began looking around. Dipper grabbed one of the hats and put it on. He looked in the mirror.

"Hm, that oughta do the trick." Mabel continued looking in a box.

"And I will have a" she twirled, "Grappling Hook!" She raised it up. Stan and Dipper looked at each other. "Yes!"

"Wouldn't you rather have like, a, doll, or something?" Asked Stan. Mabel shot the Grappling Hook, and was whisked to the ceiling, knocking over a box.

"Grappling Hook!" Said Mabel.

"Fair enough." Said Stan. The twins went to their room and Mabel began bouncing on the bed. Dipper was writing in his journal a bit.

"This journal told me that there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust." He thought as he wrote. "But when you battle a hundred gnomes side by side with someone, you realize they've probably always got your back." Mabel grappled one of her stuffed animals. "But there's still one question I have. Who is Cassie, and what is she doing here? She seemed to be able to tell what was coming." Dipper put the pen down, but his other hand slipped, flipping a page. It landed on one of the last entries in the book, which Dipper looked at. "Reality Shifter?" He asked. He began reading. "It seems as though the weirdness in Gravity Falls not only attracts the mythical, but also things far stranger. In my time here, I may have only met a handful, but they were the only ones to come. They seem to know what I'm doing before I tell them, and they also seem to know what's I'm going to say. I'm not able to explain it, but I think it has something to do with" Dipper couldn't read the following words. "In essence, they seem to come from a place where they've seen my story. It doesn't make any scientific sense, but it makes a Gravity Falls's type of sense." Dipper closed the book. "Hey Mabel, could you get the light?"

"I'm on it." Said Mabel. She fired at it with her grappling hook, sending it through the window. "It worked!" Dipper and Mabel began to laugh. "Grappling hook." Dipper began thinking.

"Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town, but who knows what other secrets are waiting to be unlocked?" Downstairs, Stan was typing a specific set of buttons on the vending machine. He looked to the side as it opened, revealing a small passageway. He walked into it, and closed the vending machine a bit, looking around the room.

"You know you can't hide your secret from me." Whispered Cassie. Stan looked around the wall to see Cassie, standing in the next room.

"Just don't go blabbing it everywhere, Shifter." Said Stan. "I have my secrets, and you have yours." Stan closed the door and the vending machine turned off.

"You got it." Said Cassie. She walked back into the other room. "I still can't believe I'm actually here in Gravity Falls! Just wait until Atom hears about this!"

* * *

 **Sv pmldh dszg hsv rh yfg mlg dszg hsv rh sviv uli.**

* * *

 **Two things. 1: This is told from Cassie's point of view, so it's going to be a lot different that the entirety of Bakugan, in terms of the Reality Shift Fanfiction series. 2: There will be a riddle at the end of every chapter. First person to solve it gets a shout out in the next chapter after they tell me the answer. Good luck!**


	2. Something New from Something Old

**johannvanguard got the last clue, so he gets this week's shoutout! Remember, solve it first and you'll get a shoutout in the next chapter! Enjoy!**

This is going to be so much fun! Landing here was perfect. I can't wait to see what other adventures we'll have! I just have to make sure I don't tell them what will happen.

* * *

Dipper and Mabel were sitting at the table. They held up syrup bottles. "Are you ready for the ultimate challenge?" Asked Mabel.

"I'm always ready!"

"Then you know what this means!"

"Syrup Race!" They said. They flipped the tops open and aimed into their mouths.

"Go Sir Syrup!" Said Mabel.

"Go Mountain Man!"

"Go! Go! Go!" They said.

"Almost." Said Mabel. Cassie walked in. "Almost!" She tapped the top of her bottle to make the drop fall. "Yes!" She swallowed, and coughed. "I won!" She continued coughing as Dipper grabbed the news magazine next to him. Mabel patted her chest.

"Yeah, you won." Said Cassie. "By tapping your bottle, that is."

"Eh, she always does that." Said Dipper. He saw something interesting. "No way! Hey Mabel, check this out!" He showed her what he saw.

"Human sized hamster balls?" Asked Mabel. She gasped. "I'm human sized!"

"No no, Mabel, this." He pointed to the other page. "We see weirder stuff than that every day. We didn't get any photos of those gnomes, did we?"

"Nope. Just memories. And this beard hair." Mabel showed it to Dipper, who backed away.

"Why did you save that?" Mabel shrugged. Stan walked in.

"Good morning, knuckleheads! You three know what day it is?"

"Um, happy anniversary?" Guessed Dipper.

"Maffletof!" Said Mabel.

"Your family fun day?" Asked Cassie. Stan went to smack Dipper with his newspaper, but stopped.

"How did" he started. "You know what, I'm not gonna ask. Yes, it's family fun day! We're cutting off work and having one of those, you know," he opened the fridge and sniffed the carton of milk, "bonding type deals."

"Grunkle Stan, is this going to be anything like our last bonding day?" Asked Dipper. Everybody was brought back to that day. Mabel shivered.

"The county jail was so cold."

"Alright, maybe I haven't been the best summer caretaker, but I swear that today, we're gonna have some real family fun! Now who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?"

"Yay!" Said Dipper and Mabel.

"Wait, what?" Asked Dipper.

"Am I allowed to come with?" Asked Cassie.

"Eh, sure. Why not? But you have to put on a blindfold too."

"Okay."

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

The car drove past a deer, and Stan reached down to grab something. Dipper and Mabel were shifted to the side as the car drifted while Cassie grabbed onto the first solid thing she could. "Blindfolds never lead to anything good." Said Dipper.

"Wow, I feel like all my other senses are heightened!" Said Mabel. "I can see with my fingers." She rubbed Dipper's head. He tried to push her away, until they hit a bump that made everybody in the car jump.

"Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?" Asked Dipper.

Stan laughed. "No, but with these cataracts, I might as well be." He stared ahead. "What is that, a woodpecker?" He ran through a fence and Dipper and Mabel screamed. The car went down a small cliff.

"Here we go!" Said Cassie. The car hit the bottom and shot forward. It jumped over a small boulder and landed in a parking lot.

"Perfect!" Said Stan. He parked and everybody got out. "Okay, okay, open them up." All three grabbed their blindfolds.

"We're at the fishing season opening day, aren't we?" Asked Cassie. The three removed their blindfolds. "Yep."

"Ta-Da! It's fishing season!"

"Fishing?" Asked Mabel.

"What are you playing at, old man?" Asked Dipper.

"You're gonna love it. The whole town's our here!" Stan turned to the water.

"Here fishy fishies." Said Lazy Susan. "Get into the pan."

"Say cheese!" Said Toby Determined as he took a picture. The person he was taking a picture of fell into the water.

"Uh, is this good?" Asked Marcus. He held out his pole.

"No!" Said Manly Dan. He grabbed it and snapped it. "I'll show you how a real man fishes!" He reached into the water and grabbed a fish. He laughed. He threw it into the boat and began punching it.

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" Chanted the three boys with him. Tyler Cutebiker pulled up next to them.

"Get 'em! Get 'em!"

"That's some quality family bonding." Said Stan.

"Grunkle Stan, why do you want to bond with us all of a sudden?" Asked Dipper.

"Come on, this is going to be great!" Said Stan. "I've never had fishing buddies before. The guys from the lodge won't go with me! They don't like or trust me."

"Isn't that well deserved?" Asked Cassie.

"That's besides the point!" Said Stan. Mabel looked at Dipper.

"I think he actually wants to fish with us."

"Hey, I know what'll cheer you dad sacks up!" Said Stan. He grabbed two hats and put them on the twins. "Pines Family fishing hats!" Dipper and Mabel took their hats off and looked at them. "That, that's hand stitching, you know." Mabel's l came off. "It's just going to be you, me and those goofy hats on a boat for ten hours!"

"Ten hours?" Asked Dipper.

"I brought the joke book." Said Stan.

"No! No!" Said Dipper.

"There has to be a way out of this." Whispered Mabel.

"I seen it!" Yelled someone. "I seen it again!" Old Man Mcgucket began running on the beach. He ran through a few people and smacked someone's sandwich out of their hands. Someone grabbed a calculator as Mcgucket ran by. Mcgucket then grabbed someone. "The Gravity Falls Gobblewonker! Come quick before it scrabdoodles away!" He did a small jig and slapped his knee. The twins walked up.

"Aw, he's doing a happy jig." Said Mabel. Mcgucket turned her to him.

"No! It's a jig of great danger!"

"Hey! Hey!" Someone came out of the cabin with a spray bottle. "Now what did I tell you about scaring my customers?" He sprayed Mcgucket. "This is your last warning, dad!"

"But I got proof this time, by guttegy!" He showed everybody something. "Behold!" It was a broken boat. "It was the gobblywonker what done did it! It had a long neck like a t-rex! And wrinkly skin like, like this gentleman right here!" He pointed at Stan, who was rubbing in his ear.

"Huh?" He took out a chunk of earwax.

"It chopped my boat up to smitheroons! It shimshammed over to Skuttlebutt Island!" He pointed to an island shrouded by fog. He then grabbed his son's arm. "You gotta believe me!"

"Attention all units." Said Sheriff Blubs. "We've got ourselves a crazy old man." Almost then entire crowd laughed. The only ones who didn't were Dipper, Mabel, Stan, Cassie and Mcgucket's son. His son looked down and shook his head.

"Oh donkey spittle!" Said Mcgucket. He walked away, followed by the crowd, except Dipper, Mabel, Stan and Cassie.

"Well that happened." Said Stan. "Now let's untie this boat and get out on this lake!" He stepped down into his boat.

"Mabel, did you hear what that old dude said?" Asked Dipper.

"Oh donkey spittle." Mimicked Mabel.

"The other thing, about the monster!" Said Dipper. "If we could snap a photo of it, we could split the prize 50 50!" He pulled out the news article. Mabel gasped.

"That's two fifties!"

"Imagine what you could do with 500 dollars!" Mabel thought about getting the human sized hamster ball, mocking a hamster, running through a wall, and just being her. Dipper started snapping. "Mabel. Mabel?"

"Dipper, I am one million percent on board with this!"

"Grunkle Stan, change of plans." Said Dipper. "We're going to take the boat to Skuttlebutt Island, and we're gonna find that Gobblewonker!"

"Monster hunt!" Chanted Dipper and Mabel.

"Monster hunt!" Said McGucket. "I'll go." He walked away as something honked. Soos pulled up with a large boat.

"You dudes says something about a monster hunt?"

"Soos!" Said Mabel.

"Whassup hambone?" He and Mabel did a fist bump. "Dude, you could totally use my boat for your hunt! It's got a steering wheel, chairs, normal boat stuff." He patted the side. Stan stood up.

"Alright, alright, let's think this through." Everybody looked at him. "You kids could go waste your time of some epic monster fighting adventure, or you could spend the day learning how to tie knots and how to skewer worms with your Great Uncle Stan!" Mabel and Dipper looked at Soos, who began doing the robot. Then they looked at Stan, who wiggled his eyebrows and sniffed his armpit. Then they looked at Skuttlebutt Island.

"Well, I'm just going to say this now, wherever they go, I go." Said Cassie. Mabel and Dipper looked at each other and smiled.

"So what do ya say?" Asked Stan. Everybody went with Soos and he honked as he pulled away. Stan was stunned.

"Yay!" Said Mabel. "We made the right choice!" Stan got a bit mad.

"Ingrates!" He called. "Ah, who needs them? I got a whole box of creepy fish lures to keep me company." Flies buzzed around the lures. Stan quickly closed the box. He looked back across the water at Soos's boat.

"Hoist the anchor!" Said Dipper. Soos pulled the chain and brought up a cinder block. "Raise the flag!" Mabel held up a towel that said 'fun'. "Hoist the sail!"

"What sails?" Asked Cassie.

"We're going to find that Gobblewonker!" Said Mabel.

"We're gonna win that photo contest!" Said Dipper.

"Do any of you dudes have sunscreen?" Asked Soos.

"We're gonna go get sunscreen!" Said Dipper. Soos turned the boat around quickly.

"Yay!" Said Soos and Mabel. Under them, something lurked. After they grabbed sunscreen, they got back on the boat. Dipper began pacing.

"Alright, if we want to win this contest, we've gotta do it right. Think! What's the number one problem with most monster hunts?"

"You're a side character and you die within the first five minutes of the movie." Said Soos. He thought of something. "Dude, am I a side character? Do you ever think about stuff like that?"

"I can assure you you're not." Said Cassie.

"No no no." Said Dipper. "Camera trouble. Say Bigfoot shows up. Soos, be Bigfoot." Soos took a step and made a strange face. "There he is! Bigfoot! Uh oh, no camera! Oh wait, here's one! Aw, no film! You see, you see what I'm doing here?" Mabel and Soos nodded.

"That's why I bought twenty one disposable cameras!" Said Dipper. "Two on my ankle, three in my jacket. Four for each of you. Three extras in this bag. And one, under my hat. There's no way we're gonna miss this! Okay everybody, let's test our cameras out." Soos took a picture of himself, making him flail his arms and toss the camera overboard.

"Whoa! Dude!"

"You see?" Asked Dipper. "This is exactly why you need backup cameras. We still have twenty." A seagull flew over Mabel.

"Ah! Bird!" She threw her camera at it and it landed in the water as well.

"Nineteen. Okay guys, I repeat, don't lose your cameras."

"Wait, lose the cameras?" Asked Soos.

"Don't!" Said Dipper.

"Dude, I just threw two away." He pointed at where they were floating.

"Seventeen! Alright." Said Dipper. "We still have seventeen cam" he brought his fist down, breaking another one. "Sixteen. We have sixteen cameras."

"So what's the plan?" Asked Mabel. "Throw more cameras overboard or what?"

"No!" Said Dipper. "No. Okay. You'll be lookout. Soos can work the steering wheel. And I'll be the captain."

"What?" Asked Mabel. "Why do you get to be captain? What about Mabel, huh?"

"And what do I get to do?" Asked Cassie.

"Mabel! Mabel! Mabel!" Said Mabel.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea." Said Dipper.

"What about co-captain?"

"There's no such thing as co-captain." Said Dipper.

"Oh, whoops." Said Mabel, throwing another camera overboard.

"Okay! Fine! You can be co-captain."

"Can I be associate co-captain?" Asked Soos.

"As co-captain, I authorize that request." Said Mabel.

"Well, as first co-captain, our number one order of business is to lure the monster out with this." He gestured towards the barrel of fish food.

"Permission to taste some?" Asked Soos.

"Granted." Said Dipper.

"Permission co-granted." Said Mabel.

"Permission associate co-granted." Said Soos. He grabbed a flake.

"You're not going to like it." Said Cassie. Soos licked it. He spit overboard and started grabbing his tongue. Everybody else laughed.

"Dude, I don't know what I expected that to taste like."

"Anyways, what can I do to help?" Asked Cassie.

"Well, uh." Said Dipper. He snapped his fingers. "I've got the perfect job for you! Since you're the only one who hasn't lost or broken a camera, you'll be the head picture taker!"

"I can live with that." Said Cassie. Stan looked over at them again.

"Traitors! Ah, I'll find my own fishing buddies." He looked around, and saw two people alone. "Ah!" He fired up the motor. "There's my new pals!" He motored over to them. One of them held a box. He looked inside it and saw a very special ring. He took a deep breath.

"Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question that my heart wises to ask of you."

"Oh, Reginald!" Rosanna looked to the side.

"Hey! Wanna hear a joke?" Asked Stan. Reginald was about to reply. "Here it comes! My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!" He swung his arms. They didn't laugh. "Her aim is getting better!" Still no response. "You see, it's funny because marriage is terrible." Rosanna crossed her arms and Reginald rowed away. "What?"

* * *

The boat continued to move as Soos scooped the fish food into the water. Mabel was playing with a pelican. "Hey! How's it going?" She opened the bird's mouth. "It's going awesome! Bow bow, bowbowbow!"

"Mabel, leave that thing alone." Said Dipper.

"Aw, I don't mind none!" Mabel grabbed a glass. "Look! I'm drinking water!" She grabbed the bird's beak again and began drinking. "Twinkle Twinkle" Mabel began choking as the bird flew away.

"Aren't you supposed to be doing lookout?" Asked Dipper.

"Look out!" Said Mabel. She threw a volleyball at him, hitting his arm. He grabbed it. "Haha. But seriously, I'm on it." The boat shook. "See? We're here! I'm a lookout genius!" Everybody disembarked. "Hamster ball here we come!" They walked onto the island. Dipper led the way with a lantern. Soon, Soos and Mabel saw a sign. Soos thought of something.

"Dude, check it out!" He covered 'Skuttle' with his arm. "Butt Island." They laughed.

"Soos! You rapscallion!" Mabel looked at Dipper and Cassie.

"Hey, why aren't you laughing? Are you scared?"

"Yeah right, I'm not" Mabel poked Dipper's nose.

"Yeah you are!"

"Hey!" Mabel poked his nose two more times. "Quit" she did it again, then started poking him on the head. "Stop! Mabel!" She eventually stopped.

"And what about you, Cassie? Are you scared?" Cassie chuckled.

"With what I've seen, this is nothing."

"What the heck could you have seen?" Asked Mabel.

"It's quite a bit." Said Cassie. Dipper grabbed the journal really quick and looked at the page he had seen not to long ago. He quickly read it, and looked at Mabel.

"You should probably stop questioning her on it. She's probably seen things that would make you hurl."

"Try me!" Said Mabel.

"Well, I've been in a war between two planets for about, let's say, two years. We won that, by the way. Then, despite their leader having been wiped away, he came back and attempted to destroy the entire Earth by boring into its core with gigantic robots capable of crushing all four of us with one finger. Want me to continue?"

"I think we get the picture now." Said Dipper. Something groaned.

"Dude, did you guys hear that?" Asked Soos.

"What was that?" Asked Mabel. She looked at Soos. "Was it your stomach?"

"Nah, my stomach normally sounds like whale noises." Mabel put her ear up to Soos's stomach to hear whale noises.

"Wow. So majestic." A rat came up and grabbed Dipper's lantern. He gasped.

"Our lantern!" The rat ran away with it. "Ah! I can't see anything."

"Dude, I don't know man." Said Soos. "Maybe this isn't worth it."

"Not worth it?" Asked Dipper. "Guys! Imagine what would happen if we got that picture!" He thought about what he would do. Then Mabel broke into the daydream. "I'm in!" Said Dipper.

"Me too!" Said Mabel. They ran off. Soos looked back.

"Don't worry, I won't leave you behind." Said Cassie. Soos looked forward.

"Alright dudes, I'm coming!"

"Let's go!" Said Cassie. They ran after the twins. Soon after, Soos and Mabel got bored. They talked a bit, then Soos dropped a beat.

"My name is Mabel, it rhymes with Table. It also rhymes with Claybel. It also rhymes with shmable."

"Dude, we should be writing this down."

"Guys! Guys guys, hear something?" Asked Dipper. He looked around, then saw a flock of birds all leaving from the same place. "This is it. This is it!" Mabel walked up and the two began tapping each other in the sides. Soos grabbed a pointy stick.

"Don't worry." Said Cassie. "Nothing is as it seems."

"Better safe than sorry." Soos adjusted his hat and followed. Cassie sighed and did the same. They approached a clearing, and Soos stopped them. There was a large shape in front of them. They dove under a log.

"Everyone, get your cameras ready." Said Dipper. Soos gave a thumbs up and Mabel got hers ready. Cassie grabbed hers. "Ready? Go!" Soos ran out, followed by Dipper and Mabel. Cassie followed them, but walked. Soos took pictures as he ran, but as they got closer the fog stopped shrouding it and revealed it to be a broken boat, with beavers living in it. Soos continued taking pictures. Dipper was dumbfounded. "But, but what was that noise that I heard? I heard a monster noise." Something seemed to growl. The group looked over to see it was a beaver playing with a chainsaw.

"Sweet." Said Soos. "Beaver with a chainsaw." He took another picture.

"Maybe that old guy was crazy after all." Said Dipper.

"He did use the word scrabdoodle." Agreed Mabel. Soos continued taking pictures and Dipper sighed.

* * *

"Look, when you're threading an line, a lot of people don't know this, but you want to use a barrel knot. That's a secret from one fishing buddy to another." Stan elbowed a small kid and gave a small laugh.

"Uh, I, uh, who are you exactly?"

"Just call me your Grunkle Stan!"

"Sir, sir sir!" Said the kid's mom. "Why are you talking to our son? If you don't leave right now, I'm calling the police!"

Stan laughed nervously. "You see, the thing about that is" he started up the engine and quickly fled.

"Go bother your own kids!"

* * *

"Oh yeah!" Said Soos. "Work it, work it!" He was taking more pictures of a beaver. "Nice, nice. Give me another one of those, yeah, I liked that one." He went to take another picture and the beaver jumped away.

"What're we going to say to Grunkle Stan?" Asked Dipper. "We ditched him over nothing." He threw a pebble into the water. He sighed, and watched as his reflection rippled. "Hey, guys, do you feel that?" He fell into the water. "Hey! Hey! Whoa! Whoa!" He quickly climbed out as something splashed. "This is it." Dipper took a quick image. "Come on! This is our chance!" Mabel and Soos backed away.

"Uh, Dipper, you might want to back away." Said Cassie.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Asked Dipper. Something came out of the water behind him.

"Dipper." Said Mabel.

"Dude." Said Soos.

"It's not that hard." Said Dipper. He brought his camera up. "All you gotta do is point and shoot." He turned. "Like this." He saw the creature, then looked up. It roared at them.

"Run!" Yelled Soos. All four ran away. The creature followed them, knocking over a tree. Dipper shoved Mabel out of the way. They rolled and continued running. Another three came down and Cassie got them out of the way. All four continued running.

"Get back to the boat!" Said Soos. "Hurry!"

"This is fun!" Said Cassie. The creature tried to eat Mabel and Soos slung her across his back. Dipper took a picture, and tripped over a root. He dropped his camera.

"The picture!" He attempted to go back for it, but Soos grabbed him.

"Dude, if it makes you feel any better, I got tons of pictures of those beavers dude."

"Why would that make me feel better?" Asked Dipper.

"Would it make you feel better if I said we weren't going to die?" Asked Cassie. She and Soos continued to run. The creature came down at them, but they dodged to the sides and continued running. "Pass me Dipper! We'll go faster if we each take one!"

"Okay dude!" Said Soos. He gave Dipper to Cassie, who put him on her back. She continued running, passing Soos.

"How the heck are you faster than him with me on you?"

"Let's just say that I've had to outrun things far bigger and faster that that creature. A lot." She approached the boat. "Come on Soos!"

"Coming!" He approached as Cassie put Dipper on. Mabel climbed onto the boat from Soos's back. He then climbed on, followed by Cassie. "Let's get out of here dudes!" He grabbed the steering wheel and backed away. The creature followed them.

"Alright, this is it." Said Dipper. He grabbed another camera. "Cracked lens? Soos! Get a photo!" Soos was throwing the cameras at the creature. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I still got one left! Don't worry dude! Here!" He tossed the camera at Dipper, but it broke against the cabin wall. The creature jumped into the water. Soos reached into the cabin and made the boat go faster. The creature lunged at them, but missed. Cassie grabbed her last camera and grabbed a quick photo for herself before putting it away. A wave pushed them forward and Soos fell into the cabin. We swung the boat around.

"Go go go go go!" Said Dipper. Soos pushed the boat even harder, outpacing the creature.

* * *

Stan continued trying to tie a knot when he heard something. "Can you pwease tell me more funny stories poppop?" He looked at another boat to see two kids and a grandfather.

"Anything for my fishing buddies!" Stan got angry.

"Poppop, I just realized, that I love you."

"Aw come on!" Yelled Stan. "Boo! Boo!"

"Hey now! What's the big idea?"

"Maybe he has no one who loves him, poppop."

"Yeah, well I, I" Soos went past him, followed by the creature. The wave drenched the passengers in both boats. Stan threw his hat into his boat, then sighed.

* * *

Soos continued driving when Dipper noticed something. "Soos! Beavers!" They chattered a bit. Soos turned his boat sideways, and they rammed through the broken one. The beavers rained down on them and began gnawing on everything. Soos got one on his head and backed away from the cabin.

"Dude!" Mabel grabbed the wheel and began steering. "Owowowowowowowowowowow!" Soos just ran in a circle as Dipper threw the beavers overboard. Soos grabbed at the one on his face, trying to yank it off. The creature dove and followed them from below. Mabel steered them through several smaller boats, which were knocked away by the creature.

"Headlock!" Said Manly Dan.

"Dad! Dad! Dad!" They got washed away by the wave and landed in the waist-deep water. Fish began raining down.

"The fishes! They seek revenge! Swim boys! Swim!" Soos continued trying to get the beaver off of him as Mabel continued to pilot the boat. She swung it around, barely avoiding getting hit by the creature. The creature swung at them, taking off the top half of the boat. Mabel saw something.

"Ah! Look out!"

"Easy, easy." Two guys were moving a piece of glass between two boats. The boat everybody was on smashed through it.

"My glass!" Called the other guy.

"Where do I go?" Asked Mabel. In front of them was a waterfall. Dipper grabbed the journal.

"Uh, go into the falls! I think there might be a cave behind there!"

"Might be?" Asked Mabel.

"Just do it!" Said Cassie. She grabbed the beaver on Soos's face the threw it.

"Thanks dude." He looked forward and everybody screamed. They crashed through the falls into a cave. The boat went aground and tossed everybody off. Everybody looked up to see the creature follow them. Everybody but Cassie screamed, but stopped when they realized it was too big to fit into the cave.

"It's stuck." Said Mabel.

Dipper laughed. "Yeah!" He realized something. "Wait. It's stuck?" He ran to a higher point, then realized he had no more cameras. Mabel took his hat off.

"Boop." He laughed again and took a picture. The creature snapped at him, but couldn't quite reach. Dipper took another picture, then many more. "Did you get a good one?" Asked Mabel.

"They're all good ones!" They hugged. Rubble fell from the ceiling, hitting the creature in the head. A Metallic clang rang out as sparks went over its head. Its neck fell, landing on the water. "What the?" Asked Dipper. He jumped down as the eyes flickered. He jumped onto one of the fins, then touched the hide of the creature.

"What's wrong?" Asked Mabel. Dipper knocked on the hide and it clanged. He started climbing.

"Careful dude!" Said Soos.

"I've got this!" Said Dipper. "Hold on!" He reached the other side. "Hey guys! Come check this out!" Mabel, Soos and Cassie all climbed over it and saw a hatch. Dipper turned the wheel and it unlocked. He opened it, releasing a lot of steam. They began coughing. Inside was McGucket.

"Work the bellows and the eh?" He looked up. "Aw banjo polish!"

"Y, ya, you?" Asked Dipper. "You made this? Wh-why?"

"Well I, I, uh." McGucket looked away. "I just wanted attention!"

"I still don't understand." Said Dipper.

"Well, first I just hootynanied up a bio mechanical brain-wave generator, and then I learned how to operate a stick shift with my beard." He demonstrated.

"Okay, yeah, but why did you do it?" Asked Mabel.

"Welp, when you get to be an old fellow like me, nobody pays any attention to you anymore. My own son hasn't visited me in months. So I figured I might catch his fancy with a fifteen ton aquatic robit!" He laughed, then sighed. "In retrospect, it seems a bit contrived. You just don't know the length to which us old timers go for some quality time with our family." Dipper grabbed his hat and looked at it. Mabel did the same. They sighed.

"Dude, I guess the real lake monster is you two." Said Soos. He laughed. "Sorry, it just boomed right into my head there." Dipper and Mabel looked back at their hats.

"So, did you ever talk to your son about how you felt?" Asked Mabel.

"No sir! I got to work straight on the robit!" A projector came up and showed the plans on the hatch. "I made lots of robits in my day!" The image changed. "Like when my wife left me and I created a homicidal pteradactlytron. Or when my pal Earnie didn't come to my retirement party" the image changed again "and I constructed an 80 ton shame bot that exploded the entire downtown area!" He laughed maniacally. "Welp, time to get back to work on my death ray!" He dropped back down and got to work. He reached up. "Any of you kids got a screwdriver?"

"Well, so much for the photo contest." Said Dipper.

"We still have one roll of film left." Said Mabel.

"What do you want to do with it?" Asked Dipper.

* * *

Stan rode back into the pier and sighed. "Hey! Over here!" Called Dipper. Stan looked at him as Soos pulled up next to him. Dipper took a picture of Stan.

"What the? Kids? I thought you two were off playing spin the bottle with Soos!"

"Well, we spent all day trying to find a legendary dinosaur." Explained Dipper.

"But we realized the only dinosaur we want to hang out with is right here."

"Save your sympathy!" Said Stan. "I've been having a great time without ya! Making friends, talking to my reflection, then I had a run in with the lake police. Guess I gotta wear this ankle bracelet now, so that'll be fun."

"So, I guess there isn't room in that boat for four more?" Asked Dipper. Stan glared at them, then they put of their hats.

"You knuckle heads ever seen me thread a hook with my eyes closed?"

"Five bucks says you can't do it!" Challenged Dipper.

"You're on!" He jumped into Stan's boat.

"Five more bucks says you can't do it with your eyes closed plus me singing at the top of my lungs!"

"I like those odds!" Said Stan. Soos stepped into the boat as well. "Whoa! What happened to your shirt?"

"Long story dude." Said Soos.

"I have a bet for you, Stan." Said Cassie. "Five bucks for whoever catches the first fish!"

"You're on!" Dipper grabbed his camera.

"Alright, everybody get together. Say fishing!"

"Fishing!" Said Mabel, Stan and Cassie.

"Dude, am I in the frame?" Dipper took the image with the three that said fishing together and Soos's belly. He later took another image of Stan cheating with threading a hook, then Cassie took an image of Stan saying a joke. Cassie got an image of Dipper getting the first fish. Then an accidental photo of Stan. Soos got an image of Mabel cutting another family's net and grabbing their fish, with Stan's help. Then Cassie got an image of them fleeing from the lake police. They headed back to the pier, but hit something.

"What was that?" Asked Dipper. Mabel shrugged. Cassie tossed her camera back, and something grabbed it underneath the water.

* * *

 **462416431645 34364316 4636 241643 46241235 3416164645 462416 165516.**


	3. Who Don It?

**Another chapter! Okay, so there was a good idea from the guy who solved the first cipher, so I'll be doing it from here on. Last chapter's solution was 'Theres more to her than meets the eye'. And I know, there's no apostrophe, but there isn't a way to put one with that cipher. Anyways, enjoy!**

* * *

It's kind of strange to be here, to be honest. But I still like it here! Mysteries, adventures, it's amazing!

* * *

Dipper and Mabel were sitting in front of the TV. "I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir." Mabel reached for the popcorn and Dipper slapped her hand. "My men have examined the evidence and this is obviously an accident." A duck quaked and words came up on the screen. "What?"

 _Ducktective will return after these messages._ Mabel dropped her knitting needles.

"That duck is a genius." She said.

"Eh, it's easier to find clues then you're that close to the ground." Said Dipper.

"Are you saying you could outwit ducktective?"

"Mabel, I have very keen powers of observation. For example, just by smelling your breath, I can tell you have been eating" he took a few sniffs, "an entire tube of toothpaste?"

"It was so sparkly." Replied Mabel, back turned.

"Hey dudes!" Called Soos, running to the room. "You'll never guess what I've found!"

"Buried treasure!" Said Dipper.

"Buried" Mabel laughed. "Hey! I was gonna say that!" Cassie poked her head in.

"Was it a secret room?"

"Just follow me!" Said Soos. The twins and Cassie followed him. "So, I was cleaning up when I found this secret door, hidden behind the wallpaper. It's crazy bonkers creepy." He opened the door, revealing lots of wax statues. Dipper walked in first.

"Whoa." He whispered. "It's a secret wax museum."

"They're so lifelike." Said Mabel.

"Except for that one." Said Dipper, pointing at Stan.

"Hello." He said. Everybody but Cassie yelled. Stan laughed. "It's just me! Your Grunkle Stan!" Mabel, Dipper and Soos screamed again and ran out of the room.

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

Dipper, Mabel and Soos came back in. "Behold the Gravity Falls Wax Museum." Said Stan. "It was one of our most popular attractions, before I forgot all about it. I got em all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes, some kinna, I don't know, goblin man."

"Bleh." Said Dipper. "Anyone else getting the creeps here?"

"Now, for my personal favorite, Wax Abraham Lincoln!" Stan gestured to a melted statue. "Right over oh! Oh no! Come on! Who left the blinds open? Wax John Wilkes Booth, I'm looking in your direction!" Stan bent down and poked his finger in the melted wax. "How do you fix a wax figure?"

"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan!" Said Mabel. "Where's that smile?"

"Meh."

"Beep bop boop!" With each word Mabel poked Stan.

"Ow." Stan got up.

"Don't worry Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax."

"You really think you can make one of these puppies?"

"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts and crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She waved her arm a bit.

"I like your gumption, kid."

"I don't know what that word means, but thank you." Said Mabel. "Hey Cassie, can I have some help moving the wax?"

"Sure." Dipper and Soos went upstairs. When Dipper went into another room, he saw Mabel doing some sketches. She jumped off her stool.

"Dipper!" He dropped his soda and began coughing. "What do you think of my wax figure idea?" She showed him her drawing. "It's part fairy princess and part horse fairy princess."

"Maybe you should carve something from real life." Suggested Dipper.

"Like a waffle, with big arms!" Said Mabel.

"Okay, or you know, something else. Like someone in your family."

"Kids, have you seen my pants?" Asked Grunkle Stan. He stepped onto a suitcase where there was a hole in the ceiling and Mabel got an idea.

"Oh muse, you work is mysterious ways."

"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?" Mabel got ready to work. She grabbed her tools, her safety gear, and got to work. She began chiseling a figure over the course of the day, then she painted it. When she was done, she stepped back. Dipper and Soos were in the room with her.

"I think it needs more glitter."

"Agreed." Said Soos. He grabbed a bucket of glitter and handed it to Mabel, who threw all the glitter onto the statue.

"I found my pants, but now I'm missing my" Stan saw the wax statue and fell over. He began backing away. "Whoa! Whoa! Ah!" Cassie walked in.

"Overdramatic much?" Mabel walked up to Stan.

"What do you think?"

"I think, the Wax Museum's back in business!" Stan got everything set up for the next day. People were coming from all around town and Soos was guiding them in with corndogs. Dipper and Wendy worked the entry booth.

"I can't believe this many people showed up." Said Dipper.

"I know, right? Your uncle probably bribed them or something."

"He bribed me." Dipper took out the money Stan gave him and Wendy did the same. They laughed.

* * *

Mabel looked at everybody who was crowding around as Stan stepped up to the podium. He cleared his throat, then tapped the mic. A high pitched squeal rang out. "You all know me, folks! Town darling Mr. Mystery! Please, ladies, control yourselves." Nobody did anything. "Ah you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlements, the likes of which the world has never known! But enough about me. Behold," he grabbed the covering on the new statue, "me!" He took the cover off to reveal a wax statue of himself. Soos pressed a key on his soundboard, making a ta-da sound. Then he pressed the one for 'Yeah!' a lot. Two people clapped quietly and one person coughed. "And now a word from our own Mabelangelo." Stan gave the mic to Mabel.

"It's Mabel." She said. She walked towards everybody. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands! It's covered with my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids." Everybody in the crowd made disgusted faces. "Heh heh, yeah. I will now take questions. You there."

"Old Man McGucket. Local Kook. Are the wax figures alive and, follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?" His son looked at him.

"Uh, yes!" Said Mabel. "Next question."

"Toby Determined. Gravity Falls gossiper. Do you really think this constitutes a wonder of the world?" He held out his mic.

"Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby." Said Stan.

"It certainly is."

"Next question." Said Stan.

"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter, you flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event. Is this true?" The crowd began to agree.

"That was a typo." Said Stan, quickly. "Goodnight everyone!" He threw a smoke bomb and ran. He grabbed the register that Dipper and Wendy had. Everybody dispersed as Mabel walked up to them.

"I think that went well." Said Mabel.

Dipper looked at her. "I'm surprised Cassie didn't warn us about that. She always seems to know when something bad is going to happen." They packed up everything and went inside. Stan counted his money.

"Hot pumpkin pie! Look at all this cash! I owe it all to one person!" Mabel looked at him, smiling. "This guy!" He gestured towards his wax self. Mabel tapped his gut, making it shake. "Heh, yeah, you too you little gremlin. Now you kids wash up. We've got another long day of fleece and rubes tomorrow. Go, go!" Mabel and Dipper left the room and Stan put his arm over his wax self. "Kids." He turned on the TV.

"Well ducktective, it seems that you've really quaked the case." The duck replied and Stan laughed.

"Stupid Duck!" He got up. "Well, I'm going to use the john." He looked at his sculpture. "You need anything?" He laughed again. "I love this guy! Don't you go nowhere." Outside, the wind picked up ominously. Upstairs, Dipper and Mabel were brushing their teeth.

"Dipper, you want to do a toothbrush race?"

"Okay." He mumbled.

"No! No! No!" Yelled Stan. They ran downstairs, followed by Cassie. "Wax Stan! He's been, m-murdered!" Everybody looked at Wax Stan to see his head gone. Mabel fainted and Dipper caught her. The police soon arrived. "I get up to use the john, right? And when I come back, blamo! He's headless!"

"My expert hand crafting, besmirched." Said Mabel. "Besmirched!"

"Who would do something like this?" Asked Dipper, putting his hand on Mabel's shoulder.

"What's your opinion Sheriff Blubs?" Asked Durland.

"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts. This case is unsolvable."

"What?" Asked Stan, Dipper and Mabel.

"You take that back Sheriff Blubs!" Said Stan.

"You're kidding, right?" Asked Dipper. "There must be evidence, motives, you know, I could help if you want!"

"He's really good!" Said Mabel. "He figured out who was eating our tin cans!"

"All signs pointed to the goat." Said Dipper.

"Yeah, yeah!" Said Stan. "Let the boy help! He's got a little brain up in his head."

"Oh, look at what we've got here!" Said Blubs. "City boy thinks he's going to solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone."

"City Boy! City Boy!"

"You are adorable."

"Adorable?" Asked Dipper. Durland and Blubs laughed.

"He's adorb!" Said Durland. They stopped laughing.

"Look pjs, how about you leave the investigating to the grown ups?" Suggested Blubs. "Okay?" His radio crackled.

"Attention all units. Steve is going to fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. I repeat, an entire cantaloupe."

"Oh, it's a 2316!" Said Durland.

"Let's move!" Said Blubs. They ran off.

"That's it!" Said Dipper. "Mabel, Cassie, we're gonna find the jerk who did this and get back that head! Then we'll see who's adorable." He sneezed like a kitten.

"Aw!" Said Mabel. "You sneeze like a kitten." Dipper glared at her.

"Let's get started tomorrow." Said Cassie. Dipper and Mabel agreed and everybody went to bed. In the morning, Dipper got started.

"Wax Stan has lost his head and it's up to us to find it." Mabel took a picture of Wax Stan while Cassie stood in the doorway. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling, the murderer could have been anyone."

"Gasp!" Said Mabel. "Even us!"

"In this town, anything is possible." Said Dipper. He grabbed the journal.

"Well, almost anything." Said Cassie. "The speed of light is still a limit not yet broken."

"Okay, you win that point, but aside from that, nothing is impossible." Said Dipper. He opened the journal and began looking through the pages. "Ghosts, Zombies, it could be months before we find our first clue."

"Hey look!" Said Mabel. "A clue!" There were a few footsteps next to Wax Stan.

"Footprints in the shag carpet!"

"That's weird. They've got a hole in them."

"And they're leading to" Dipper gasped when he saw an axe. They brought it to Soos. "So what do you think?"

"In my opinion," said Soos, "it's an axe."

"Wait a minute." Said Mabel. "The Lumberjack!"

"Of course!" Said Dipper and Mabel. They remembered him punching the support pole for the banner.

"He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza." Said Dipper.

"Furious enough for murder!" Said Mabel.

"Oh, you mean Manly Dan." Said Soos. "Yeah, he hangs out at this crazy intense biker joint downtown."

"Then that's where we're going." Said Mabel.

"Dude, this is awesome." Said Soos. "You're like the Mystery Twins." Cassie coughed. "Oh, right, you're helping them too. Uh, I got it! You're the Mystery Trio!"

"Don't call us that." Said Dipper. He and Mabel quickly walked away.

"We'll catch ya later Soos." Said Cassie.

"See you dudes." All three walked out, passing Stan, who was trying to pull something out of his trunk.

"Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doing a memorial service for Wax Stan. Something small, but classy." He pulled again, pulling it out.

"Sorry Grunkle Stan, but we've got a big break in the case!" Said Dipper.

"Breaking the case!" Said Mabel.

"We're heading into town right now to interrogate the murderer." Said Dipper. Mabel grabbed the axe.

"We have an axe!" She swung it a bit. "Ree! Ree! Ree!"

"Eh, this seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing." Said Stan.

"I'm guessing there's a 'but' somewhere in there." Said Cassie.

"Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me kids! Avenge me!" The three of them went into town. Dipper and Mabel were trying to be sneaky while Cassie just walked.

"What are you guys even doing?" Asked Cassie.

"Shush." Said Dipper. He looked around a corner, then at a piece of paper. "This is the place." He and Mabel looked around the corner to see someone in front of the door. The guy looked at them and they quickly went back around the corner. "Got the fake IDs?" Mabel handed them to him. "Here goes nothing." He looked at Cassie. "You sure you're not coming with inside?"

"Positive." Someone walked up to the door and showed the guy his ID.

"Sorry, but we don't serve miners."

"Dang nabbit!" Said the miner. Dipper and Mabel walked up.

"We're here to interrogate Manly Dan, the lumberjack, for the murder of Wax Stan." They showed their IDs.

"Works for me." Said the guy. He opened the door and they walked in.

"Good luck guys." Said Cassie. When they got inside, they saw mass chaos. Dipper motioned for Mabel to follow him as they walked through. Mabel walked over someone's legs.

"He's resting." She rationalized.

"All right, let's just try to blend in, okay?" Suggested Dipper.

"You got it Dippingsauce." Said Mabel. She climbed onto a stool. "Hey there fellow restaurant patron." She tapped his arm. "Bap." The guy growled at her. Manly Dan was in the back, arm wrestling an arm wrestling machine.

"Manly Dan, just the guy I wanted to see." Said Dipper. "Where were you last night?"

"I was punching the clock!"

"So, you were at work?"

"No, I was punching that clock!" He pointed at a clock. Dipper looked at it.

"10 o clock, the time of the murder." He looked back at Manly Dan. "So I guess you've never seen this before!" He pulled out the axe.

"Listen little girl"

"Hey, actually I'm"

"I wouldn't pick my teeth with that axe. It's left handed! I only use my right hand! My Manly Hand!" He ripped the arm off the machine and hit its head. Tyler was standing nearby.

"Get 'em! Get 'em!" Tyler laughed.

"Left handed." Said Dipper. He began walking over to Mabel, who was doing something with the guy.

"3, 4, 5, 6." They said. Mabel opened the fortune teller she was using. He looked at it as she gasped.

"Your wife is going to be beautiful." Said Mabel.

"Yes!" Said the dude.

"Mabel!" Said Dipper. "Big break in the case!" They ran off.

"But will she love me?" Asked the guy. Dipper and Mabel ran off before they could answer and met up with Cassie outside.

"So, how'd it go?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"Major clue." Said Dipper. "Come on!" They went on their way while Dipper wrote down the clues they had so far.

"It's a left handed axe." Said Dipper. He made a chart. "This is a list of all our suspects. Manly Dan is right handed." He crossed him off. "So that means all we've got to do is find our left handed suspect, and we've got our killer."

"Oh man!" Said Mabel. "We are on fire today!"

"Let's just hope it lasts." Said Cassie.

"Let's find that murderer." Said Dipper. He and Mabel fist bumped. They first went to the junkyard to see McGucket. Mabel waved at him, and he waved back with his right. Dipper crossed him. Then they went to a house. Dipper put on a mustache and knocked on the door after putting a package down. He held out a clipboard for the guy to sign. He signed with his right. Dipper frowned and grabbed the box. The dude frowned as he walked away. They saw another person. Mabel whistled at her and threw a baseball at her. She caught it with her right hand, then crushed it. They went to another house and knocked. The dude who opened had both arms broken. Dipper crossed him off entirely. They went to person after person, each being right handed. Dipper's pencil broke, and he looked back through his list. He gasped. "Mabel, look! There's only one person left on this list." Mabel gasped.

"Of course! It all adds up!" They called the police and made their way to the place Dipper thought the case would be solved. Cassie smiled, knowing it was wrong. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland walked up to the door.

"You kids better be right about this, or you'll never hear the end of it." Warned Blubs.

"The evidence is irrefutable." Said Dipper.

"It's so irrefutable!" Said Mabel.

"I'm going to get to use my nightstick!" Said Durland.

"Ready." Said Blubs. "Ready little fella?" The howled like monkeys.

"On three." Said Dipper. "One. Two!" Durland kicked in the door.

"Bada Boom! This is a raid!" Said Blubs. Toby fell off his chair.

"What is this?" He asked. "Some kind of raid?" Durland knocked down a lamp.

"Toby Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!" Said Dipper.

"You have the right to remain impressed by our awesome detective work." Said Mabel. She and Dipper high fived.

"Gobbling goose feathers!" Said Toby. "I don't understand!"

"Then allow me to explain." Said Dipper. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that would save your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. But, you were sloppy! And all the clues pointed to a shabby shoe reporter who was caught left handed."

"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Said Mabel.

"Boy, your little knees must be sore," started Toby, "from jumping to conclusions!" He did a little jig. "I had nothing to do with that murder."

"I knew it!" Said Dipper. He realized what Toby said. "Wait, what?"

"I probably should've told you." Said Cassie.

"Then where were you the night of the break in?" Asked Blubs. Toby pulled his neckline before showing everybody his video camera's recording.

"Ew." Said Dipper and Mabel.

"Time stamp confirms it." Said Blubs. "Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature."

"Hooray!"

"But it has to be him!" Said Dipper. "Check the axe for fingerprints!" Durland and Blubs dusted it.

"No prints at all." Said Blubs.

"No prints?" Asked Dipper.

"Hey, I've got a headline for ya!" Said Durland. "City kids waste everyone's time!" The three laughed at Dipper, Mabel and Cassie. Dipper and Mabel were embarrassed.

"Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you two!" Said Toby. Cassie knew just how to deal with their jokes.

"I've got a follow up headline." She said. "City kids do more with a murder than local police!" She looked at Dipper and Mabel. "Let's head back." When they got back to the house, Stan got them into the wax room. He got started.

"Kids, Soos, Lifeless Wax Figures, thank you all for coming." Soos blew into a tissue. "Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax figure of himself."

"They're wrong!" Said Soos.

"Easy Soos." Said Stan. "Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven." He teared up. "I'm sorry, I have glitter in my eye!" He ran out of the room. Soos ran after him. Dipper sighed.

"Those cops were right about me."

"Dipper, we've come so far." Said Mabel. "We can't give up now!"

"But I considered everything!" Said Dipper. "The weapon, the motive, the clues." He walked up to Wax Stan's casket.

"Here comes the big revelation." Said Cassie.

"What big revelation could possibly come right" he looked at Wax Stan's shoe. "Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it."

"All the wax guys have that." Said Mabel, walking up. "It's where the pole thingie attaches to their stand dealies." Dipper thought for a second.

"Wait a minute. What has holes in its shoes and no fingerprints?" He realized something. "Mabel! The murderers are"

"Standing right behind you?" Asked Wax Sherlock. All the wax figures started moving. Dipper gasped.

"Wax Sherlock Holmes! Wax Shakespeare! Wax Coolio?"

"Sup Holmes." One of the wax figures grabbed the axe.

"Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!" Said Mabel.

"Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths." Said Wax Sherlock. "You've unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you." The wax statues began moving towards them. "Bravo Dipper Pines. You've discovered our little secret." Wax Sherlock pulled Wax Stan's head out of his cloak. "Applaud everyone! Applaud sarcastically. Uh, no, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap. There we go. Nice and condescending."

"But, how is this possible?" Asked Dipper. "You're made of wax!"

"Are you magic?" Asked Mabel.

"Are we magic?" Laughed Wax Sherlock. "She wants to know if we're magic!" Was Sherlock smashed his hand on Wax Stan's casket. "We're cursed!"

"Curse." Said the rest of the was people.

"We're cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing." Said Wax Sherlock. "Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."

"A haunted garage sale son!" Said Coolio. Wax Sherlock began talking about what transpired.

"And so, the Mystery Shack wax collection was born. By day, we would be the playthings of man."

"But when your uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night!" Said Coolio.

"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings." Continued Wax Sherlock. "That is, until your uncle closed up shop." The rest of the story was history. "We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But we got the wrong guy." Wax Sherlock concluded.

"So you were trying to murder Grunkle Stan for real?" Asked Dipper.

"You were right all along, Dipper! Wax People are creepy!" Said Mabel.

"I never thought all three of us would agree on one thing." Said Cassie.

"Enough!" Said Wax Sherlock. "Now that you know our secret, you must die." All of their eyes rolled back as the three backed away.

"What do we do?" Asked Mabel. "What do we do!?"

"I don't know!" Said Dipper. They grabbed miscellaneous things from the table behind them and began throwing them. They were soon almost empty, but Dipper grabbed a pot of brewed coffee. He threw the liquid at one of the figures, and it began melting.

"That's it!" Said Mabel. "We can melt them with hoty melty things!" The twins grabbed the candles that were on the table and the wax people backed away.

"Anyone move, and we'll melt you into candles!" Threatened Dipper.

"Decorative Candles!" Added Mabel.

"You really think you can defeat us?" Asked Wax Sherlock. The twins responded with a resound maybe. "So be it. Attack!" The Wax People attacked, but very disjointed. The first strike dealt more damage to one of them than to Mabel. Wax Shakespeare tried to grab Mabel, but she cut his arms off with her candle. She pointed the candle at him and he ran. His arms grabbed her. Mabel turned, grabbed a door, then began beating the hand by smashing it in the door.

"Interview this, Larry King!" Quipped Dipper. He sliced Wax Larry King's head off.

"My neck! My beautiful neck!" One of the wax figures tried to grab Dipper's candle, but his hand started to melt.

"Joke's on you, Groucho." Dipper sliced him in half.

"I've heard of a cutting remark, but this is ridiculous!" Said Groucho. "Hey, why is there nothing in my hand?" Wax Genghis Khan rushed Dipper, who stepped to the side. The wax figure dove into the fireplace.

"Ha Genghis Khan!" Said Dipper. "You fell harder than the, uh, I don't' know, uh, Jin Dynasty?"

"That's correct." Said Cassie. One of the Wax People tried to grab her, but she knocked its feet out from under it. "If I ever go back to Bakugan, I've really got to thank Fabia for the combat training." She thought as she dodged another wax person.

"Yeah, alright." Said Dipper as he got back into the fight. Mabel was swinging Wax Coolio's head around. He hit the wax people that were coming closer, saying ow after each hit.

"Whassup with that?" He asked.

"Dipper! Watch out!" Said Mabel. Wax Sherlock placed Wax Stan's head on something and grabbed a sword.

"Alright, let's get this taken care of." He slashed Dipper's candle out of his hand, shattering it.

"Catch!" Said Mabel. She tossed an iron to Dipper as Wax Sherlock brought his sword up. Dipper blocked the attack, and began to walk backwards. He continued blocking blow after blow, eventually getting upstairs. Wax Sherlock backed him into a corner.

"Once your family is our of the way, we'll rule the night once again!"

"Don't count on it!" Dipper said as he formulated a plan. He rolled under Wax Sherlock's legs as he slashed. Dipper opened the window and ran onto the roof.

"Come back here you brat!" Wax Sherlock followed him. They continued slashing weapons, one of the attacks knocking the S out of Shack. "You really think you can outwit me, boy? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes! Have you seen my magnifying glass? It's enormous!" Dipper climbed over the Mystery Shack sign. When he landed, some of the shingles were knocked loose. He barely grabbed a ledge and pulled himself back up. He his behind the chimney, and peeked around it. He sighed, then saw Wax Sherlock next to him. He kicked Dipper, sending him to the edge of the ledge.

"Any last words?" Wax Sherlock raised his sword.

"Um, you got any sunscreen?"

"Got any" He began to melt. "What?" He gasped as he saw the light coming up. "No."

"You know, letting me lead you outside, probably not your sharpest decision." Said Dipper.

"Outsmarted by a child in short pants!" Said Wax Sherlock. "No!" He began melting rapidly. "Fiddlesticks!" His words became gibberish as he melted.

"Case closed." Said Dipper. He knocked his hands together, sending up some dust. He sneezed. Wax Sherlock laughed.

"You sneeze like a kitten. Those policemen were right, you're adorable." He ran towards the edge. "Adorable!" He splattered on the ground.

"Ew." Said Dipper, looking down.

* * *

Mabel and Cassie were cleaning up the mess in the wax room. "Though our group be left in twain, man of wax shall rise again!" Said Wax Shakespeare.

"You know any limericks?" Asked Mabel, picking up Wax Shakespeare's head.

"Uh." Said Wax Shakespeare. "There once was dude from Kentucky."

"Nope." Said Mabel. She tossed him into the fireplace as Dipper walked in. "Dipper! You're okay! You solved the mystery after all." Dipper picked up a chair and grabbed Wax Stan's head.

"I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks." Said Dipper.

"No offense Dipper, but you're the sidekick." Said Mabel.

"And even if you weren't, I wouldn't be a sidekick to you." Said Cassie. "I knew the answer from the beginning." Dipper jumped down from the chair.

"What? Says who? Are people saying that? Have you heard that?" Stan walked into the room.

"Hot Belgian waffles! What happened to my parlor?"

"Your wax figures turned out to be evil, so we fought them to the death!" Said Mabel.

"I decapitated Larry King." Said Dipper.

Stan laughed. "You kids and your imaginations."

"On the bright side, thought, look what we found." Said Dipper. He tossed Wax Stan's head to Stan.

"My head! Haha! I missed this guy! You've done good, kids!" He stepped forward. "Alright, line up for some affectionate nooging." The twins voiced their concerns.

"Just take it." Said Cassie. "You're not going to get out of it." She was surprised when Stan grabbed her as well. "Hey!" Stan noogied all three of them.

"Noogie noogie noogie." Sirens blared.

"Solve the case yet boy?" Asked Blubs. "I'm so confident that you're going to say no that I'm going to take a long, slow sip from my cup of coffee."

"Actually, the answer is yes." Said Dipper. Blubs began choking and spit his coffee at Durland, who spit his coffee at Blubs. The cycle continued until they were empty. They drove away. All four began laughing.

"They got scalded!" Said Stan.

"So, did you get rid of all the wax figures?" Asked Dipper.

"I am 99% sure that I did." Said Mabel.

"Good enough for me." Said Dipper.

"Well, we got almost all of them. One bit still remains." Said Cassie. Larry King's head watched from the vents. He laughed.

"So, you're a rat." He said to a rat that was next to him. "Tell me about that." The rat ripped his ear off. "Hey! Get back here!" He hopped after the rat. "I'm hopping. I'm hopping after a rat that stole my ear!"

* * *

Μερικές φορές η μεγαλύτερη διασκέδαση βοηθά στην επίλυση και όχι στην επίλυση.


	4. A New Player

**Okay, this is absurdly late. I'm sorry everybody. I got busy with life. Got a job, first one, had to focus on school, my mom had lots of stuff planned for the weekends, etc. I know it's not a good excuse, but it's the truth. But, here's the next chapter. Hopefully you guys enjoy!**

"For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack, of Mystery." Stan brought out a sack from behind him and jiggled it a bit in front of the group in front of him. "When you put your money in, it mysteriously disappears!" The group grabbed a few dollars.

"Of course!"

"That makes perfect sense!"

"What a nice man."

"Totally worth the drive."

* * *

Mabel, Soos and Dipper were watching TV. "The tiger was badly injured in the explosion. But we repaired him, with a fist!" The screen showed the title. They cheered. Cassie walked in.

"What're you guys cheering about?"

"Just watch." Said Dipper. The tiger hit itself in the face with its fist.

"Tiger Fist will return after these messages." A commercial came up quickly, and some Birds flew on the screen.

"Hey look!" Said Soos. "It was that commercial I was telling you guys about."

"Are you completely miserable?" Asked the TV. It showed a guy crying on his bed.

"Yes!"

"Then you need to meet Gideon." The last word was whispered.

"Gideon?" Asked Dipper.

"What makes him so special?" Asked Mabel.

"He's a psychic." Said the TV. Mabel tilted her head. "So don't waste your time with the so-called man of Mystery." The TV showed a shot of Stan leaving an outhouse. "Learn about tomorrow, tonight! At Gideon's tent of telepathy." The TV said some gibberish that went too fast to understand.

"Wow." Said Mabel. "I'm getting all curiousy inside."

"I wouldn't suggest it." Said Cassie. Stan came in.

"Well don't get too curiousy!" He said. "Ever since that monster, Gideon, rolled into town, I've had nothing but trouble." He told them about several occasions where Gideon messed him up.

"Well, is he really psychic?" Asked Mabel.

"I think we should go and find out." Said Dipper.

"Never!" Said Stan. "You're forbidden from patronizing the competition. No one who lives under my roof is allowed under Gideon's roof."

"Do tents have roofs?" Whispered Dipper.

"I think we just found our loophole." Replied Mabel. She held up a string with a loop ties into it. "Literally! Womp womp."

"So come down soon, folks!" Said the TV. "Gideon is expecting you."

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

People were walking towards the Tent of Telepathy. "Come on in!" Said someone. "Put your money into Gideon's Psychic Sack!" People walked up, put some money in, and went inside. Cassie looked at Dipper and Mabel.

"I'm still not sure how you guys convinced me to come." She said.

"I don't know either!" Said Mabel.

Dipper looked around. "Whoa. This is like a bizzaro version of the Mystery Shack." He pointed to someone. "They even have their own Soos." Soos and Deuce glared at each other.

"It's starting." Said Mabel. "It's starting!" The lights dimmed, and spotlights began swinging.

"Let's see what this 'monster' looks like." Said Dipper. A shadow appeared on the curtains, and stadily got bigger. Booming footsteps could be heard. Then the curtains parted, revealing a kid about half the height of Dipper or Mabel.

"Hello America!" Said the kid. "My name is Lil' Gideon!" He clapped and birds came out of his hair. Most of the audience cheered.

"That's Stan's mortal enemy?" Asked Dipper.

"But, he's so, widdle." Said Mabel.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it is such a gift to have you here tonight." Said Gideon. "Such a gift. I have a vision. I predict you will soon all say 'aw'." He turned around, then turned back with an adorable face. Most of the audience did what he predicted.

"It came true." Said Mabel.

"What?" Asked Dipper. "I'm not impressed."

"You're impressed." Said Mabel.

"I know I'm not." Said Cassie.

"Hit it dad!" Called Gideon. His dad started playing the piano and Gideon threw his cape out to the audience. Someone grabbed it, and was tackled by several other people. "Oh I can see, what others can't see!" Sang Gideon. "It ain't some sideshow trick, it's innate ability! Where others are blind, I am futurely inclined. And you too could see, if you with widdle ol me!" He laughed. "Come on everybody, rise up!" He grabbed his necklace. The first row stood, then the second row, excluding Cassie. "I want you all to keep it going." Dipper looked at his legs.

"What the?" He asked. "How did he?"

"Keep it going!" Said Gideon. He pointed at an old lady. "You wish your son would call you more." He sang.

"I'm giving everything to my cats!" Said the lady. One of them on her lap meowed.

"I'm sensing you've been here before." He pointed to Blubs, who was holding lots of gideon merchandise.

"Oh, what gave it away?"

"Come on." Scoffed Dipper. Gideon walked up to Mabel.

"I'll read your mind if I'm able." He sang. He quickly glanced at Cassie, who was still sitting. Everybody except them clapped. "Something tells me you're named Mabel."

"How'd he do that?" Asked Mabel, oblivious to the fact that he read her sweatshirt.

"So welcome all ye, to the tent of telepathy. And thanks for visiting, Widdle Ol Me!" A sign came down, showing his name. Blue fire spewed from the stage. Gideon was gasping for air and sweating. Almost all of the audience clapped, except for Dipper and Cassie. Gideon grabbed some water from his shirt and drank it. "Thank you! You people are the real miracles!"

"Woo! Yeah!" Called Mabel. Everybody began to leave.

"Man, that kid's an even bigger fraud than Stan." Said Dipper. "No wonder our Uncle's jealous."

"Oh, come on!" Said Mabel. "His dance moves were adorable. And did you see his hair? It was like, woosh!"

"You're too easily impressed." Said Dipper.

"Yeah, yeah." Said Mabel. She began poking Dipper as they walked. Cassie walked up beside them.

"Just don't get too drawn in." She warned. Gideon looked from his tent at Mabel.

* * *

The next morning, Dipper was drinking some water when Mabel came in with sequins all over her face. "Check it out Dipper! I successfully bedazzled my face!" She blinked very slowly, showing that she got her eyelids too. "Blink." One of her eyes closed partway. "Ow."

"Is that permanent?" Asked Dipper.

"I'm unappreciated in my time." Said Mabel. The doorbell rang and Mabel turned to it, knocking a few sequins off.

"Somebody answer that door!" Called Stan.

"I'll get it." Said Mabel, knocking the rest of the sequins off. She opened the door looking up, then looked down to see Gideon.

"Howdy."

"It's widdle ol' you." Said Mabel.

"Hehe, yeah, my song's quite catchy. I know we haven't formally met, but after yesterday's performance, I just couldn't get your laugh out of my head."

"Oh, you mean this one?" Asked Mabel, before she laughed.

"Oh, what a delight." Said Gideon. "When I saw you in the audience, I said to myself: now there's a kindred spirit. Someone who appreciates sparkly things in life."

"That's totally me!" Said Mabel. She laughed, then began coughing. Lots of sequins came up and covered Gideon's collar.

"Enchanting." He whispered. "Utterly enchanting."

"Who's at the door?" Called Stan.

"Noone Grunkle Stan!"

"I appreciate your discretion. Stan's no friend of mine. I dunno how a lemon so sour can be related to a peach so sweet."

"Gideon!" Laughed Mabel.

"What do you say we step away from here, chat a bit more, perhaps in my dressing room?"

Mabel gasped. "Makeovers!" She poked Gideon's stomach.

"Heh heh. Ow." Cassie watched from the hallway as Mabel followed Gideon.

"Don't get to involved." She said.

* * *

Gideon opened the door to his dressing room and Mabel gasped. "Do you see something you like?" Asked Gideon. "Because I do." Mabel looked at him and laughed.

"What?" The had fun for a while, then Gideon walked Mabel home. They waved each other goodbye. Mabel walked in. "Hey Dipper. What's going on?" She wiggled her fingers in front of his face.

"Whoa!" He smacked her hands away then sat up, putting the journal down. "Where have you been? And what's going on with those fingernails? You look like a wolverine!"

"I know, right? Ragh!" She scratched the air. "I was hanging out with my new pal, Gideon. He's one dapper little man."

"Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head."

"Oh, leave him alone!" Said Mabel. "You never want to do girly stuff with me. You and Soos get to do boy stuff all the time."

"What do you mean?" Soos walked in.

"Hey dude! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?"

"Am I!" Said Dipper. He and Soos ran off. Mabel watched them go.

"You just made my point!" She called.

"If you want to do girly things, ask Cassie!" Replied Dipper. Mabel heard popping. Mabel went to Cassie's room.

"Hey Cassie, can we talk?" She asked.

"If it's about Gideon, then no." Said Cassie.

"But"

"Listen, he's not who you think he is. You need to put him down early or you'll never get away."

"Hmph! You and Dipper both!" Mabel closed the door.

* * *

The next day, Mabel and Gideon were sitting on the room of a building on the outskirts of town. "Whoa! The view from your family's factor is nuts!" She said. "Good thing we both brought our"

"Opera Glasses." They finished. They looked at each other through them, then laughed. They looked down at the town.

"Mabel, when I come up here and look down at all them little ol' people, I feel like I'm kind of all I survey." Gideon said, darkly. "I guess that makes you my queen."

"What?" Asked Mabel. "You're being so nice to me right now!" She patted his chest. "Quit it!"

"I can't quit it." Said Gideon. "I'm speaking from the heart."

"From the where now?"

"Mabel, I've never felt this close with anyone. So, so close." He reached out and touched her hair. Mabel pushed his hand away.

"Look, Gideon. I, um," she pushed Gideon's hand away again. "I like you a lot, but let's just be friends."

"At least just give me a chance." Said Gideon. "Mabel, will you do me the honor of going on a date with me?"

"A play date?" Gideon shook his head. "A shopping date?" He shook his head again.

"It'll just be one little ol' date. I swear on my lucky bow-low tie."

"Uhm." Gideon gave her a pleading, adorable face. "Okay, then." She relented. "I guess."

"Mabel Pines, you have made me the happiest boy in the world." He hugged her. Mabel felt something off.

"Are you sniffing my hair?"

* * *

The next day, Dipper and Mabel were playing a video game. "It's not a date date. It's just, you know, I didn't want to hurt his feelings. And so, I figured I'd throw him a bone."

"Mabel, guys don't work that way." Said Dipper. "He's gonna fall in love with you."

"Yeah right!" Said Mabel. "I'm not that loveable." They continued playing. "Ka-Boom!" Said Mabel. "Yes!" She had won.

"Okay, we agree on something here." The doorbell rang. Mabel walked to the door to answer it. A white horse poked its head in. Mabel yelled, fell over, and backed away. Gideon was on the horse.

"A night of enchantment awaits, m'lady." He reached down to her.

"Oh boy." She said. She climbed on and Gideon rode to a restaurant. They got seated and the horse started drinking from the fountain.

"I can't believe they let us bring a horse in here." Said Mabel.

"Well, people have a hard time saying no to me." Said Gideon, putting his feet on the table. A waiter came up.

"Ah! Mister Gideon! Ze Feet on ze table! An excellent choice!"

"Jean-Luc, what did we discuss about eye contact?"

"Yes yes! Very good." Jean-Luc walked away backwards.

"I've never seen so many forks!" Said Mabel. "And water with bubbles in it?" She gasped. "Ooh la la, wee wee."

"Oh! Parlevu france?" Asked Gideon.

"I have no idea what you're saying." Said Mabel.

* * *

"Hey, hey!" Said Stan as he walked into the front room. Everybody except Mabel was in there. He had a newspaper in his hand. "What the jeckle is Mabel doing in the paper next to that crazy pickpocket Gideon?"

"Oh yeah, it's like a big deal." Said Wendy. "Everybody's talking about Gideon and Mabel's big date tonight."

"What!?" Asked Stan. "That little shyster is dating my great niece!"

"I wonder what the new name will be for the power couple." Said Soos. "Madeon? Gidable? Magibeleon!" Stan threw the paper on the floor and stormed out of the room.

"I don't know! I didn't hear about it! And plus, I told her not to!" Called Dipper. Stan walked back in, dressed in his tour outfit.

"Yeah, well it ends tonight. I'm going right down to that little skunk's house. This is gonna stop right now!" He went outside and slammed the door.

"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if that was a closet and he had to come back in and go out the real door?" Wendy, Dipper and Cassie watched Soos open the door. "Nope. Real door."

* * *

Stan drove past Gideon's house, then reversed and parked. He walked up to the door, opening the gate to do so. He pounded on the door. "Gideon, you little punk! Open up!" He looked through the peephole, then prepared to knock again when he saw the 'Pardon the Garden' sign. "I will pardon nothing!" He smacked the sign down, and Gideon's father opened the door. The two were face to face.

"Why, Stanford Pines! What a delight!"

"Out of the way, Bud." Said Stan. "I'm looking for Gideon!"

"Well, I haven't seen the boy around, but since you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!" bud dragged Stan inside and closed the door.

"Uh, but I came"

"It's imported. All the way from Columbia."

"Wow." Said Stan. "I went to jail there once." He looked around a whistled. "Some digs you got here." He saw a painting of a sad clown. "Oh, this. This is beautiful."

"Now I hear your niece and my Gideon are, well, they're sinking in harmony lately, so to speak." Bud sat down in a recliner.

"Yeah, and I'm against it." Said Stan. He knocked a pillow off the couch to make his point.

"No no no! I see it as a fantastic business opportunity. Yes. The Mystery Shack and the Tent of Telepathy." Bud stood up. He started walking and Stan followed. "We've been at each other's throats for far too long let me get that." He pulled down a picture of Stan on a dartboard. "At each other's throats for far too long. Yes, we have. This is our big chance to brush aside our rivalry and pool our collective profits, you see." Stan smiled as he imagined the money. He leaned on a cash register, making it ding. He closed it.

"I'm listening."

* * *

Gideon wiped his mouth with his napkin. "And so I said, autograph your own headshot, lady!" He laughed.

"Gah." Said Mabel. "Yeah." She lowered her fork towards her lobster, who snapped at it.

"Mable, tonight's date was a complete success. And tomorrow's date promises to top this one is every way!"

"Whoa, whoa! You said just one date! And this was it."

"Hart!" Called Gideon. "What a surprise. A red crested South American rainbow macaw!" He extended his arm and the described Bird landed on it. Mabel jumped back, startled and grabbed the lobster. "2, 3, 4."

"Mabel, will, you, accompany, Gideon, to, the, ballroom, dance, this, Thursday?" Asked the Bird. It shook on Gideon's arm. "Thursday?" It spit out a letter. Then it flew away.

"Aw, so adorable." Said someone.

"Gideon's got a girlfriend." Said the chef.

Gideon picked up the letter. "They're expecting us. Please say you'll go."

"Aw!" Said everybody in the restaurant as they drew closer.

"Oh Gideon, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to say"

"I'm on the edge of my seat." Said Blubs.

"It's going to be adorable." Said Tyler.

"If she says no, I'll die from sadness." Said an elderly lady.

"I can verify that that will indeed happen." Said the doctor that was conveniently next to her. They all started murmuring about Mabel and Gideon.

* * *

Dipper was at the table, reading Journal 3. Cassie walked in. "Okay, Mabel's going to be back soon. Be ready." Dipper looked up.

"Huh?" Mabel walked past him, looking down. "Hey! How'd it go?"

"I don't know." Said Mabel. She put the lobster into the fish tank. "I have a lobster now."

"Well, at least it's over and you won't ever have to go out with him again." Mabel tapped the tank. "Mabel? It's over, right? Mabel?"

"Blarg!" Yelled Mabel. "He asked me out again, and I didn't know how to say no!"

"Like this." Said Dipper. He pointed at his mouth. "No."

"It's not that easy, Dipper!" Mabel walked over to him. "And I do like Gideon. As a friend slash little sister! I didn't want to hurt his feelings! I just have to get things back to where they used to be. You know, friends."

"I warned you not to get involved with him." Said Cassie. "Tell him no earlier, rather than later."

* * *

Gideon and Mabel were being rowed down the river by McGucket. "Boatin at night, boatin at night!" Said McGucket. He laughed. Mabel laughed nervously.

"You know, I thought dancing would be the end of the evening, right?" Gideon grabbed her hands.

"Don't you want this evening to last, my sweet?"

"No!" Said Mabel, abruptly. She quickly drew her hands back, startling Gideon. "I mean, yes. I mean, I'm always happy to hang out with a friend. Buddy. Pal. Chum." She hit his arm. "Other words for friend."

"Pal." Interjected McGucket.

"I already said pal. Uh, mate?"

"How about soul mate?" Asked Gideon. Fireworks shot into the sky and Mabel looked at them. They erupted into a giant heart with her name in it.

"Well, you can't say no to that." Said McGucket. Mabel looked up into the sky, frightened.

* * *

Mabel was walking circles in the living room. Dipper walked down the stairs. "And he's so nice, but I can't keep doing this." Dipper looked in. "But I can't break his heart. Oh, I have no way out!"

"What in the heck happened on that date?" Asked Dipper as he walked in.

"I don't know!" Said Mabel. "I was in the friend zone, and then, before I knew what was happening, he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Jumping quicksand!"

"Mabel, come on, it's not you're going to have to marry Gideon." Said Dipper. Cassie ran into the room.

"Upstairs! Now!" She said.

"Huh?" Asked the twins. Stan came in.

"Great news Mabel! You have to marry Gideon!"

"What?!" Asked Mabel.

"It's all part of my long-term deal with Buddy Gleeful. There's a lot of cash tied up in this thing. Plus, I got this shirt!" He looked at it. "Ugh, I am fat." Mabel screamed and ran away. "Bodies change, honey! Bodies change." Dipper went upstairs and looked in the attic. What he saw, he didn't like.

"Oh no. Mabel."

"Mabel's not here." She had her sweater pulled up over her head. "She's in sweater town."

"Are you gonna come out of sweater town?" Asked Dipper, walking up. Mabel shook her head. "Alright, enough is enough." He kneeled down. "It you can't break up with Gideon, then I'll do it for you."

Mabel peeked out over the top of her sweater. "You will?" Dipper nodded. Mabel then noticed Cassie next to him.

"I'll help too." She said. Dipper looked at her, then jumped away.

"Gah!" He yelled. "Seriously, how do you keep doing that?!"

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you!" Said Mabel, tapping both of them before Mabel gave Dipper a hug.

* * *

Dipper and Cassie walked into the restaurant Mabel was supposed to meet Gideon. "Okay, you know the plan, right?" Asked Cassie.

"Yep." Said Dipper. He looked around and saw Gideon. "There." They walked over. Dipper got Gideon's attention. He put down his menu, that was bigger than him.

"Oh, Dipper Pines. How are you?" He noticed Cassie next to him. "And Cassie. You look good, you look good."

"Thanks." Said Dipper. "Look, uh, Gideon, we've got to talk. Mabel isn't joining you tonight. She, uh, doesn't want to see you anymore. She says she's kinda weirded out by you, no offense."

"So, what you're saying is, you've come between us." Gideon's eyes started twitching.

"Not gonna, like, freak out anything, are ya?" Asked Dipper. Gideon's face went from very serious, to happy go lucky.

"Of course not! These things happen. Bygons, you know?"

"Oh, okay then, cool." Said Dipper. "Well, then again, sorry man but, uh, eh. Thumbs up!" Dipper flashed him two, then turned and walked away.

"Thumbs up indeed, my friend." Whispered Gideon.

"I'm still here, you know." Said Cassie.

"Oh yes, of course you are." Said Gideon. "Stay out of it, Shifter." He whispered.

"Too late." Said Cassie. "I'm already in it." She followed Dipper. When they got outside, Mabel was waiting.

"How'd it go? Was he mad? Did he try to read your mind with his psychic powers?"

"Don't worry Mabel, he's just a kid." Said Dipper. "He doesn't have any powers."

* * *

Gideon was breathing heavily in his room. "Dipper Pines, you don't know what you've done!" He gripped his medallion and it glowed. The candle on his desk floated up as the light bulbs around his mirror exploded. All the items around his room began floating. "You just made the biggest mistake of your life!" He looked at all the items that were floating. He sent his wardrobe crashing to the ground. Bud came in.

"Gideon Charles Gleeful! Clean up your room this instant!"

"I can buy and sell you, old man!" Snapped Gideon.

"Fair enough." Said Bud. He closed the door. Gideon looked at his images of Mabel on his door. Then, one started glowing and burned away Dipper.

* * *

Soos put a pillow in his shirt. "Hit me dudes!" Dipper and Mabel charged at him, and bounced off. They laughed. "Feels good."

"I'm so glad everything's back to normal." Said Mabel. The phone rang. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other.

"Your turn." Mabel finished just ahead of Dipper.

"Aw man." He walked inside and picked up the phone. "Yello?"

"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls Gossiper."

"Oh, hey man. Sorry about accusing you of murder last week."

"Water under the bridge. Say, we want to interview you and see if you've seen anything weird in this town since you've arrived."

"Oh, finally!" Said Dipper. "I thought nobody would ever ask! I have notes and theories!" Dipper listened to Toby tell him where to go and wrote it all down. "412 Gopher road. T-tonight? Got it."

* * *

Toby slammed the phone down. "There, I did your dirty work." Said Toby. "Now it's time to pay your end of the bargain." Someone tossed a piece of paper at Toby. He gasped. "Shandra Jimenez's phone number! Bless you little Gideon!" Gideon got up, and walked away.

* * *

Dipper walked towards where Toby told him to go, and rechecked his notes. He walked up, unaware that he was being followed. He knocked on the door, then walked in. "Hello?" It echoed. He turned around to go back outside, but the door slammed shut. Dipper knocked on it hard, then lights began to turn on. The chair turned, revealing Gideon petting a plush version of himself.

"Hello, friend." Dipper turned to him.

"Ugh, Gideon."

"Dipper Pines. How long have you been living in this here town? A week, two? You like it here? Enjoy the scenery?"

"What do you want from me, man?"

"Listen to me, boy. This town has secrets you couldn't even begin to comprehend."

"Is this about Mabel? I told you, she's not into you!"

"Liar! You turned her against me!" He jumped off the chair and grabbed his medallion. It glowed. "She was my pink dumpling!"

"Uh, are you okay, man?" Gideon raised his hand, and Dipper started to float. Gideon thrust his arm and Dipper crashed into several boxes.

"Reading minds isn't all I can do." Said Gideon.

"But, but you're a fake!" Said Dipper.

"Oh tell me Dipper, is this fake?" Gideon raised his hand again and a lot of different Gideon merchandise glowed and floated. Cassie watched from outside.

* * *

Mabel was chewing on her hair, sitting on the steps outside the shack. Wendy came out and sat next to her. "How's that hair tasting, buddy?"

"Wendy, I need some advice. You've broken up with guys, right?"

"Oh yeah." Said Wendy. She listed a few.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I thought everything was back to normal, but I still feel all gross." Wendy listed several more. "Maybe letting Dipper do it for me was a mistake. Gideon deserves an honest breakup."

"Danny Fulman. Mark Epstein. Oh man, I'm not sure I ever actually broke up with him. No wonder he keeps calling me."

"I know what I've got to do." Said Mabel, standing up. "Thanks for talking to me, Wendy." Mabel ran off, grabbed her bike, and rode off. Wendy's phone rang. She opened it up.

"Ignore."

* * *

Dipper kept running away from the things Gideon was tossing at him. Gideon tossed some more at him. Dipper saw a bookcase in front of him glowing, and jumped out of the way of it as it fell. He rolled into a wall. "Grunkle Stan was right about you! You are a monster!"

"Your sister will be mine!" Laughed Gideon. He pulled a ring on one of his dolls and it laughed. Dipper looked to his right and saw a bat. He grabbed it and ran towards Gideon.

"Who's a cute little guy? You are!"

"No, you are!" Dipper prepared to swing his bat, but Gideon levitated him.

"She's never gonna date you, man!"

"That's a lie!" Gideon noticed a box of shears. "And I'm gonna make sure you're never going to lie to me again," Gideon levitated one up, "Friend." It opened. Cassie knew Mabel was still a ways away, so she decided to buy some time. She knocked on the glass. Gideon looked at her.

"Oh, isn't this cute. The Shifter has decided to try and help."

"How do you know she's a Shifter?" Asked Dipper.

"Oh, I have my ways."

"Gideon, you know Dipper is telling the truth!" Yelled Cassie.

"Are you sure about that?" Asked Gideon. "I'm pretty sure I know Mabel better than you!" He laughed. "Besides, it's not like you can do anything about it. From what I know, Shifters can only enter, not meddle!" Cassie smirked.

"Then you've clearly never met one before. She raised her hand, and spun it in a quick circle. A larger circle appeared in front of her, and another appeared inside the building. She stepped in. Dipper gasped.

"Now how did you do that?" Asked Gideon. "Last I heard, Shifters didn't have those kinds of powers!"

"You know nothing!" Said Cassie. She charged him.

"Too easy." Said Gideon. His medallion glowed again, and Cassie glowed. However, when he raised his arm, she didn't raise up. "What?"

"Didn't you do your homework, Gideon? Your petty tricks can't work on Shifters. We're immune to anything that can alter Reality, and that little trinket of yours does just that! That's why I didn't stand in your little tent of telepathy." Cassie looked back to see a pink helmet approaching. "Now, put Dipper down and nobody gets hurt."

"Oh, I'm certain someone's going to get hurt." Said Gideon. More items began floating up. Mabel began to approach. "Take this!" Gideon launched the items at Cassie, who jumped out of the way. Some followed her. She grabbed one of the cardboard boxes. As the items got close, the spun in place and caught them. They stopped moving under Gideon's control. Mabel rode up.

"You know what, I'll deal with you in a moment. I need to take good care of Dipper really quick." He again focused on Dipper and the shears. They opened up and Mabel pressed her face against the glass and gasped. She quickly ran around and opened the doors, just in time to see Gideon's shears approaching Dipper.

"Gideon, we have to talk!"

"Mabel!" Gideon turned around quickly, and his shears fell. "My marshmallow. What're you doing here?"

"I'm sorry Gideon, but I can't be your marshmallow. I needed to be honest and tell you that myself."

"I, I don't understand." Said Gideon. He clenched his hand, and Dipper began to choke.

"Uh, Mabel! This probably isn't the best time to be brutally honest with him!"

"Maybe we can still be makeover buddies, right?" Asked Mabel as she walked up. "Would you like that?"

"Really?" Asked Gideon. Mabel looked at his medallion.

"No, not really!" She yanked it off of him and Dipper fell down. "You were attacking my brother! What the heck?"

"My tie! Give it back!" Mabel threw it to Dipper. He caught it.

"Ha, not so powerful without this, are you?" Gideon charged him and pushed him through the window. Both fell through and fell down the cliff. Gideon slapped Dipper on the way down, and Dipper slapped him. They got into a slapping fight, then looked down. They screamed, then glowed inches from the ground. Mabel was above them, holding the medallion, floating and glowing. She floated down to the ground, then released herself from the glow.

"Listen Gideon. It's over. I will never, ever, date you."

"Yeah!" Said Dipper. Mabel released them from control and they fell the last foot. Mabel threw the medallion onto a rock, breaking it.

"My powers!" Said Gideon. He backed away. "Oh, this isn't over. This isn't the last you'll see of little, ol' me." Mabel and Dipper looked at each other, then Cassie came up behind them.

"That went far better than expected." She said. They looked at her.

* * *

Stan and Bud were sitting together, getting the deal signed. "This is livin' brother." Said Stan. He grabbed his glass of water and knocked on the door.

"From now on, it's all name brand foods and clown paintings." Said Bud. They tapped glasses, and the door opened. "Well, hey Gideon! Look who I have"

"Stanford Pines! I rebuke thee! I rebuke thee!"

"Rebuke? Is that a word?" Asked Stan.

"The entire Pines family have evoked my fury, along with that pesky Shifter! You will all pay recompense for your transgressions!"

"What, you got like a word a day calendar or something?"

"B-b-b-but sunshine, what about our arrangement with Mabel and"

"Silence!"

"Well, I see he's taking one of his rages again. Sorry Stan, I have to side with Gideon on this one." Bud grabbed the contract and ripped it in half.

"Okay, okay, I can see when I'm not wanted." Said Stan, standing up.

"Stan, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna need that painting back, Stan. Stan!"

"Try and catch me suckers!"

* * *

Stan put up the paining and sighed. "I coulda had it all." He looked at Dipper and Mabel. "What the heck happened to you two?"

"Gideon." Said Mabel.

"Gideon." Agreed Dipper.

"Gideon." Said Stan. "Yep. The little mutant swore vengeance on the whole family. I guess he's gonna try and nibble my ankles or somethin!"

"Oh yeah, yeah!" Said Dipper. "How's he gonna destroy us now? Try to guess what number we're thinking of?" He laughed.

"He'll never guess what number I'm thinking of!" Said Mabel. She started to speak again.

"Negative Eight." Said Cassie, walking in. "The reason being nobody would guess a negative number."

"How'd you know?" Asked Mabel.

"I have my ways."

"It's still pretty good." Said Dipper. He chuckled a bit, then the others started laughing.

"Oh, look out! Gideon's planning our destruction right now!" Said Stan, laying on the twins. They all laughed.

* * *

Gideon pained a small stand to look like Mabel and put it with the rest of his Mystery Shack set. He started making her move. "Gideon, I still love you, if only my family we're in the way." He put together one for Stan. "Look at me! I'm old, and I'm smelly!" He made one of Cassie. "You think you're so strong. But I'm immune to anything you throw at me." He finished the Dipper one. "Hey, what're you gonna do without your precious amulet?"

"Oh, you'll see boy." Said Gideon. He put Dipper down, and closed Journal 2. He looked back in his room, and saw Cassie. "Gah!"

"Be warned, Gideon." She said. "Don't tamper too much." Cassie vanished. Gideon took a deep breath.

"There's no way she was actually in here, right? Right?"

* * *

Iwn gjl jkf lf ziik vim ule? Eydu qj vim, ihbtcb?

 **Hint: Focus of what shouldn't be big.**


	5. Hangin With the Gang

**It's been a while, huh? Back with more Gravity Falls! Hopefully you guys enjoy! And remember, November is NaNoWriMo! That means that every year, you can expect a lot of chapters this month as I go for 50k words! Maybe some of you will join in, who knows?**

Things are starting to get interesting now! We've got Gideon in the mix, and now we're ramping up to even more!

* * *

Gompers bleated on the roof of the shack. Mabel, Dipper and Wendy were all inside. Mabel was spinning on a globe while Dipper and Wendy read, Dipper the Journal and Wendy a magazine. "Mabel, do you believe in ghosts?" Asked Dipper.

"I believe you're a big dork!" Laughed Mabel. Dipper stopped the globe and Mabel fell off of it. Stan entered the room from the front door.

"Soos! Wendy!" Soos stood up straight near the vending machine and ran up.

"What's up Mr. Pines?" He asked.

"I'm heading out. You two are going to wash the bathrooms, right?"

"Yes sir!" Said Soos.

"Absolutely not!" Saluted Wendy.

"Haha!" Said Stan. "You stay out of trouble!" He exited and walked off creepily. Wendy walked back into the main part of the shack.

"Hey guys, what's this? A secret ladder to the roof?" She pulled back a curtain to reveal the mentioned ladder.

"Uh, I don't think Mr. Pines would like that." Said Soos. Wendy held out her hand.

"Uh?"

"Uh." Replied Soos.

"Uh."

"Uh."

"You're freaking me out dude!"

"Can we actually go up there?" Asked Dipper.

"Sure we can!" Said Wendy, already halfway up. "Roof time! Roof time!" Dipper and Mabel began climbing.

"Roof Time! Roof time!" They chanted with Wendy. Soos ran to the door and looked up, worried. Outside, Wendy opened the hatch and climbed onto the roof. Dipper and Mabel followed her s she climbed over the tallest part of the shack.

"All right, check it out!" Said Wendy. She gestured to her little hangout. Dipper smiled widely.

"Whoa! Cool!" There was a cooler, an umbrella and a chair on the small section of the roof. The three walked down. "Did you put all this stuff up here?"

"I may or may not sneak up here during work all the time, every day." She grabbed a small pinecone from a bucket and chucked it, hitting a target on the Totem Pole. "Yes!" Dipper and Mabel grabbed pinecones and began throwing them as well. They didn't get close. Cassie walked up.

"Room for one more?" She asked. Dipper fumbled a shot and hit a nearby car, setting off the alarm. He drew a quick breath.

"Jackpot!" Said Wendy. "High five!" She held up her hand and Dipper stared at her. "Don't leave me hanging!" Dipper slapped her hand with his, completing the high five. Wendy looked down, hearing a car. "Oh hey! It's my friends!" A van pulled up and a hand came out.

"Wendy!" Called someone. Wendy looked at the others.

"Uh, you guys aren't going to tell Stan about this, are you?" Dipper motioned zipping his mouth closed and throwing away the key, and Wendy did the same. "Latter dork!" She swung on a nearby pine tree and slid to the next. She dropped off, landed and ran into the van. She closed the door and it pulled away.

"Let's get out of here!" Dipper, Mabel and Cassie watched it go.

"Later Wendy!" Called Dipper. He laughed nervously. "Good times."

"Uh oh." Said Mabel. Dipper looked at her.

"What?"

"Somebody's in love!" Said Mabel. She poked his cheek.

"Yeah, right!" Dodged Dipper. "I just think Wendy's cool, okay? It's not like I lay awake at night thinking about her!"

"Wanna bet?" Asked Cassie. She grabbed a pinecone and took aim. "Bakugan, Brawl!" She called. She threw the pinecone is the same way she would throw Janthide, and struck the target dead center.

"Yeah, I'll take you on that bet!" Said Dipper. He laid in bed later that night when everybody else was asleep, awake and thinking about Wendy. "Oh."

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

Mabel and Wendy stood in the front room of the store. "Random Dance Party for no Reason!" Yelled Mabel. She turned on the music and both of them began to dance. Dipper just stood nearby, awkwardly scribbling on a piece of paper. He looked down at the paper, which read 'I am pretending to write something down'. He nodded at his disguise.

"Dipper!" Said Wendy. Dipper flipped his clipboard.

"Huh? Yes? Yeah?"

"Aren't you gonna get in on this?"

"I, uh, don't really dance." Said Dipper, walking towards Wendy. Cassie walked in.

"How many times are you going to give me 5 bucks because of bad bets?" She asked. Dipper looked at her.

"Who asked you?!"

"I agree with her!" Said Mabel. "You do!" She leaned in to Wendy. "Mom used to dress him up in a lamb costume and make him do" she took a dramatic pause, "the Lamby Dance!"

"Now is not the time to talk about the Lamby Dance." Muttered Dipper.

"Lamb Costume?" Asked Wendy. "Whoa, is there, like, little ears and a tail or?" She looked at Dipper.

"Well, uh" Dipper scratched the back of his head nervously, "uh."

"Dipper would prance around and sing a song about grazing." Said Mabel, holding an image of Dipper in a Lamb costume. Dipper motioned zipping his mouth to her as she laughed. The Cukoo clock went off, and all four looked at it.

"Hey! Look at that!" Said Wendy. "Quittin time!" She took off her name badge and pocketed it, then walked to the door. "The gang's waiting for me!"

Dipper walked forward. "Hey! Wait! Uh, maybe I could, gah, we could come with you!"

"Oh, I dunno." Said Wendy, turning to him. "My friends are pretty intense." She looked at Cassie. "I have no question about her being okay, but I'm not sure about you two." She thought for a moment. "How old did you guys say you are?" Dipper froze for a moment.

"We're thirteen!" He said. "So, technically a teen!"

"Alright! I like your moxie, kid!" Said Wendy. "Lemme get my stuff." She walked out the door.

"Since when are we thirteen?" Asked Mabel. "Is this a leap year?"

"It's not leap year." Said Cassie. She looked at Dipper. "I have no question about the lie you just told."

"Come on guys! This is our chance to hang out with, you know, the cool kids!"

"Learned my lesson back home." Interrupted Cassie. "Cool kids are not usually good friends. Not until they have an enlightenment about themselves, that is."

"And Wendy, and whatever." Finished Dipper.

"I knew it!" Said Mabel. She jumped over the desk. "You love her! Love love lovelovelove!" She danced around Dipper.

"Oh hey! What's that?" Mabel turned to where Dipper pointed.

"Huh?" Dipper flipped Mabel's hair, covering her face. She spat some out of her mouth.

* * *

"Hurry up!" A larger guy was being held up by his ankles by two of his friends while candy was thrown at him.

"In the belly!" Chanted the other two. Another piece of candy hit him and he groaned. "In the belly!" Another guy threw another piece of candy, landing it in the first guy's belly button. "Oh!" The two laughed, then stopped seeing someone. The other guy turned, along with a girl to see Wendy, Dipper, Mabel and Cassie.

"Wendy!" Said all four who were standing, the first guy dropped.

"Wendy! Wendy!"

"Hey guys!" Said Wendy, her small group walking up. "These are my pals from work. Mabel, Dipper and Cassie."

"I chewed my gum so it looks like a brain!" Said Mabel. She stuck her tongue out, revealing her chewed gum.

"She's not much for first impressions," started Dipper, "unlike this guy!" He pointed at himself, but got no reactions. "This guy." He said, much quieter. Cassie sighed.

"You messed up." She said.

"So, are you like babysitting or" started the guy who was throwing the candy. He strummed his guitar.

"Phff!" Said Wendy. "Come on, Robbie!" She looked at Dipper, Mabel and Cassie. "Guys, this is Lee and Nate." Nate punched Lee in the gut, and he laughed. "Tambry." She raised her hand and returned to her phone. "Thompson, who once ate a run over waffle for 50 cents."

"Don't tell them that." Said Thompson.

"And Robbie. You can probably figure him out."

"Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower." Boasted Robbie.

"Oh!" Said Dipper. "You mean the big muffin!"

"Um, it's a giant explosion!" Robbie looked at the water tower, as did everybody else.

"You might need to work on your art." Said Cassie. Lee laughed.

"It kinda does look like a muffin." Both he and Nate laughed, and Robbie glared at Dipper, who smiled back nervously.

"Let's hurry it up guys!" Said Wendy. "I got big plans for tonight!" She clapped, and everybody filed in. Dipper tried to open the passenger door, but Robbie closed it on him.

"Sorry kid, I ride shotgun, alright?" Dipper went into the backseat and Lee closed the door. Thompson started the car, then looked back at everyone.

"Okay, just, before we go, my mom said you guys aren't allowed to punch the roof anymore, so" the four he was talking to began punching the roof, chanting his name. He began driving. Dipper was chewing on a marker as Mabel looked around. She grabbed his marker, crossed out a message that was written, and wrote 'you look nice today!' She looked back at Dipper and giggled a little.

"This is going to blow someone's mind!" Dipper elbowed her.

"Mabel, please!"

"What? Am I embarrassing you in front of your new girlfrien" Dipper slapped his hand over her mouth. Mabel tried to say something, and Dipper pulled it back.

"Ew! Did you just lick my hand?"

"Both of you need to cool it." Warned Cassie. "Look, I get it, first time being with this kind of group. Let me tell you, if you mess up, it's not something that'll be offered again."

* * *

Stan was sitting on his chair, watching TV, and didn't like what was on. He looked for the remote. "Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!" The TV blared the next movie that was on. "Kids!" The movie started. "No! NO!"

* * *

The group stood outside of a fence, looking in at a closed Dusk 2 Dawn. "There it is, fellas." Said Wendy. "The condemned Dusk 2 Dawn." Most of the group woahed in response.

"Neato!" Said Mabel.

"W-why did they shut it down?" Asked Dipper. "Was it a health code violation or"

"Try murder!" Said Nate.

"Some folks died it there, it's been haunted ever since!" Added Lee.

"This town has such a colorful history!" Said Mabel.

"Wha?" Asked Dipper. "Ar-are you guys serious?"

"Yeah! We're all gonna die!" Joked Wendy. She tapped Dipper's arm. "Chill out man. It's not as bad as it looks." Dipper looked at a sign above him. It was a no trespassing sign, but prosecuted was written over with dead.

"No time like the present!" Said Cassie. She began climbing the fence, and everybody else followed. "Might as well get it over with." She added to herself. Dipper began climbing last, and as everybody else jumped down he just got to the top.

"Come on Dipper!" Called Wendy. He laughed nervously.

"Okay, okay, jus-just gotta get a foothold."

"Dude!" Said Robbie. "Your sister did it!" He gestured at Mabel, who was running sideways on the ground, going in a circle, babbling. Lee climbed up.

"Hey, you know what? Just." He grabbed Dipper, then dropped him. "There you go." His hat came off as he landed. "Sorry dude!" Lee jumped back down.

"Good job throwing the kid off the fence, genius!" Said Nate. Dipper stood up, then grabbed his hat.

"My mom's a genius." The group walked up to the store, and Robbie tried to open the door. Wendy looked in and laughed.

"This place is amazing!"

"I think it's stuck." Said Robbie.

"Let me take a crack at it!" Said Dipper, walking up.

"Oh sure, I can't get in, but I'm sure junior here is going to break it down like Hercules."

"Come on, leave him alone." Said Wendy. "He's just a little kid." Dipper frowned at hearing that, then lowered his hat in determination. He walked around the store and climbed onto the dumpster, then jumped onto the roof. The group gasped in surprise as he continued to climb. Dipper got on top of the roof and opened the grate covering.

"Go Dipper!" Called Mabel. "Punch that metal thing!" Dipper climbed in.

"Hey Dipper!" Called Wendy. "Take it easy!" Robbie turned to her.

"Who wants to bet he doesn't make it?" Dipper opened the door, and Robbie turned to him. Dipper gestured inside and the group filed in, except Robbie.

"Good call inviting this little maniac." Said Lee.

"Your new name is Dr. Funtimes!" Added Nate. Dipper high fived Mabel as she walked past. Wendy tapped him on the arm as she walked past.

"Nice work." Dipper smiled, then went inside as well.

"Do you really think it's haunted?" Asked Thompson.

"Psh! Nah! Thompson, are you kidding me?" Nobody noticed the open sign flip around to closed. Everybody looked around and scattered. Wendy, Dipper and Robbie went together.

"Oh man!" Said Wendy. "It's even creepier than I imagined." They continued walking. Mabel wiped some dust off a small container with a few pennies inside, and looked at her finger. She licked it.

"Yep! It's dust!" Dipper grabbed a newspaper, wiped some dust off and looked at the date.

"Crazy how long ago this place closed down, huh?" Asked Cassie. Dipper looked at her. Lee and Nate went off together.

"Hey dude, where do you think they keep the dead bodies?" Asked Lee.

"Haha! Shut up man!" Said Nate.

Wendy found a light switch. "Hey guys! Check it out! You think they still work?" She flipped up all three, and the store came to life. Everybody said words of excitement, except Cassie.

"Here we go." She thought.

"Jackpot!" Said Mabel. Dipper looked at Wendy.

"So, what're we going to do now?"

"Anything we want." Replied Wendy. Dipper and Mabel smiled at each other, then everything broke loose. The group began grabbing lots of wrapped foods, and began throwing them at each other. Lines were drawn, and Dipper poked his head over a shelf with Lee's help only to be struck. Cassie sat in the middle of the store, just ignoring the food fight. Soon, the supplied ran out and the teams scattered. Lee grabbed a bag of cat litter and whacked Nate with it, only for Nate to strike him back with another bag. Robbie grabbed a large bottle of Pitt Cola, and Nate dropped several mints into it. It exploded up, drenching everybody. Mabel opened her mouth to catch some, then ran around the store. She came across a display stand if Smile Dip.

"Oh my gosh! Smile Dip!" She grabbed a pouch. "I thought this stuff was banned in America!" She lowered the pack to see Dipper.

"Maybe they had a good reason." He was struck with a water balloon filled with mustard, and ran off. Mabel opened the pack, stuck the stick in, looked at what she got out, then dumped the rest into her mouth.

"Hey! Come here man! We got it ready!" Thompson ran over to Nate, passing Dipper and Wendy, who were eating popsicles while sitting on one of the shelves.

"Whatever it is, I'll do it!" Wendy laughed.

"Thompson!" She looked at Dipper. "Dipper, this night is, like, legendary."

"Really?" Asked Dipper.

"Just look around. The guys are bonding." Nate pulled back Thompson's pants and Robbie dumped an entire bag of ice into them. "I've never even seen Tambry look up from her phone this long!" Tambry looked up for a second before going back to her phone. "And your sister seems to be going nuts for that Smile Dip."

"Ugh. Maybe I've had too much." Said Mabel. She looked to her right. "What do you think?" Mabel wasn't looking at real life, seeing an imaginary world with a large dog looking at her. Another came over.

"Would you like to eat my candy paws?"

"Of course you little angel!" Mabel began chewing air.

"And then there Cassie." Said Wendy. She looked at Cassie to see she wasn't doing much. "I'm surprised she hasn't done much. She seemed the most excited for this." Wendy shook her head. "You know Dipper, I wasn't sure if you could hang with our crew at first, but you're surprisingly mature for your age."

"Yes." Said Dipper. "Yes I am." He attempted to lick some more of his popsicle from the side, but hit his temple instead, then missed two more times.

"Hey guys! We need more ice!" Said Nate. Lee had dumped the last pack into Thompson's pants.

"I'm on it!" Said Dipper, jumping down. He ran to the freezer and grabbed another bag. He looked up to see a floating brain look at him. Its eyes reached out to him and he jumped back. He slammed the freezer, and took deep breaths. He slowly reached out to the freezer handle, and opened it quickly. He saw nothing but ice. The group came up.

"What was that? I thought I heard some lady screaming back here." Said Lee.

"You freaking out kid?" Asked Nate.

"Uh, no, no, I'm cool, everything's cool." Said Dipper.

"Then what's all this about?" Asked Robbie, pointing at the dropped bag of ice.

"Oh, that's uh, uh" Dipper saw something. "Oh look! Dancy Pants Revolution! The game that tricks people into exercising!" The group ran off. "Yeah! Let's all go play that!" Dipper looked back at the freezer, then followed. Cassie walked up to him.

"Get ready. Things are going to get weird now." Dipper looked at her confused, then saw Thompson playing the game. He continued trying to dance while Nate and Lee chanted him on.

"Wow!" Said Wendy, elbowing Dipper. "He's really terrible at this!" Dipper laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, that's great." He looked in the glass door to see him, Wendy, Robbie and Tambry as skeletons. In the window, Thompson was a skeleton as well. Dipper rubbed his eyes, and the reflections changed back to normal. "I'll be right back." He dashed off and put some change into the pay phone. "Come on Grunkle Stan, pick up! Ugh! What is he doing?"

* * *

The phone rang at the Mystery Shack, but Stan was too enamored with the show to move. He reached for his ice cream as he watched. The show hit a major event and Stan got excited. "Yes! Yes! In your face Elizabeth! It's just like my life!" He began crying a bit. "In a way."

* * *

The phone was swinging, abandoned as Dipper walked over to Mabel. "Mabel, I need your advice. We're hanging out in a haunted convenience store, I can't get ahold of Grunkle Stan and if I say anything to any of these guys, they'll think I'm just a scared little kid or something!"

"Blaaaaaaa." Droned Mabel.

"Mabel?" In her mind, she was riding a dolphin with arms.

"Future is in the past!" She said. "Onward Dayoshama!" The dolphin's head spun in place, creating another face that both spewed out hands, then the hands grew dolphin faces and spewed two rainbow lasers each. Dipper began shaking her.

"Mabel! How many of these did you eat?!"

"Eleventeen." Mumbled Mabel.

"Oh man. Ohmanohmanohmna!" Said Dipper. Robbie was at the counter, rubbing a coin over a scratch off ticket. As he finished, he dropped the coin and it rolled to some chalk. He bent down to pick it up, but stood up straight when he realized what he had found.

"Whoa. Guys, you might want to see this." The group came over and saw the two silhouettes, except for Thompson, Cassie and Mabel.

"Whoa!" Said Lee. "Then the rumors are true." Dipper gulped.

"Dude, dare you to lie down in it." Said Robbie.

"Good idea." Said Lee. He elbowed Nate. "Go lie down in it."

"I'm a dead body, look!" Said Nate. He was about to step into the outlines when dipper spoke up.

"Wait!" He said. Everybody looked at him. "Maybe let's no do that."

"This guy's scared." Said Lee.

"All I'm saying is, why tempt the fates?" Asked Dipper. "I mean, what if this place really is haunted?" The group booed at him.

"Just take it down a notch, Captain Buzzkill." Said Robbie.

"I thought I was Dr. Funtimes."

"Well, you're acting like Captain Buzzkill. Right?" Everybody except Mabel nodded.

"Yeah, little bit." Said Wendy. Dipper frowned again.

"You guys want my opinion?" Asked Cassie. Everybody looked at her, and Robbie jumped back because she was standing right next to him.

"What the? How did you get there?"

"Is that important?" Asked Cassie. "Maybe you need to focus on your surroundings more."

"Oh!" Yelled Nate and Lee.

"Oh yeah? Well, who cares?" Asked Robbie. "He's still Captain Buzzkill."

"Status update." Said Tambry. "Trapped in store with an insane nine year old."

"I'm not a nine year old!" Said Dipper. He flopped back. "I'm thirteen! Technically a teen!" A sparking noise went around him, and the chalk began glowing. The entire outline glowed and the lights began flickering. Tambry glowed, then seemed to evaporate. Her phone dropped and Dipper picked it up. Robbie walked over. "Status update. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The security TV blared some static, and the group looked at it to see Tambry, trapped inside. The group screamed, except Cassie.

"Should've just let me say something." She said.

"Tambry!" Called Wendy. "Tambry!"

"Can you hear us?" Asked Dipper. Tambry kept trying to look outside the TV.

"What're we supposed to do?" Asked Nate.

"I dunno man! I dunno!" Yelled Lee.

"Let's just go already!" Said Robbie.

"Thompson!" Called Wendy.

"Wait! I've almost got the high score!" He was given the same treatment as Tambry, and the group yelled again. He reappeared inside the game. "Huh? What?" Arrows began raining down on him. "So many arrows!" The machine called him a dance machine. "No, you're an dance machine!" another arrow spiked him.

"Oh no!" Said Dipper.

"Thompson!" Said Wendy.

"I've got this!" Said Cassie. She jumped onto the machine and began hitting the arrows on the ground before the ones in the game could hit Thompson.

"Forget him!" Said Robbie. "Let's go!" The door closed, and Wendy tried to get it open.

"What the?" She turned to the group. "It's locked!"

"Out of my way!" Said Robbie. He grabbed the register and threw it at the door. It vaporized and a green glow emanated from the wall. It covered everybody.

"Everybody, wait!" Said Dipper. "Whatever's causing this has to have some kind of reason!" He grabbed his journal and began scanning through it. "Maybe is we can just figure out what it is, maybe they'll just let us out of here!"

"Uh, they'll let us out of here!" Mocked Robbie. "Yeah, that makes a whole lot of sense!"

"I dunno guys, maybe he's got a point!" Said Wendy.

"Yeah right!" Said Lee. "I'm sure the ghost just wants to talk about its feelings!" He glowed and was lifted up before evaporating. He reappeared on a box of cereal.

"I'm bonkers for eating you alive!" Said the bird on the box.

"No!" Yelled Lee. The group closed their eyes as he got scooped and yelled.

"Lee!" Yelled Nate. "Okay, I'm with you kid. 100%, man!" Mabel was lifted up, eyes completely white, glowing.

"Welcome!" She said, in a different voice.

"They got Mabel!" Yelled Dipper.

"Welcome to your graves, young trespassers." Mabel laughed.

"W-w-we're super sorry for hanging out in your store!" Said Wendy. Robbie and Dipper nodded in agreement.

"Yeah!" Said Dipper. "Can we just go now and leave forever?"

"Well, okay. You're free to go." The doors opened, and Mabel floated over them. "But before you leave, hot dogs are now half-off. I know it might be crazy, but you gotta try these dogs!" Robbie and Nate screamed at each other, then ran for the door. It closed on them, and they ran into it. "Just kidding about the hot dog sale!"

"Just let us out of here already!" Yelled Nate. Robbie held him back from rushing Mabel.

"I don't like your tone!" Mabel's eyes glowed and Nate began to float and glow.

"No, no no!" He evaporated and reappeared as a hot dog. "What? No! I'm a hot dog!"

"It begins." Said Mabel. The items strewn around the store began to float, along with the four still around. They all landed on the ceiling, as if gravity was inverted. Dipper dodged the Security TV as Wendy was hit on the head with a bag of chips. "Welcome to your home for all eternity!" Cassie looked at Mabel.

"And if I don't want to stay here?"

"Too bad!" Mabel's eyes glowed again, but Cassie didn't glow. "What?"

"What do we do?" Asked Wendy to Dipper.

"Duck!" He said. The slushie machine floated past them as they ducked.

"Quick! In there!" Said Wendy. The two ran over to the open cabinet and ducked inside. "What do they want from us?"

"Revenge, I guess?" Said Dipper.

"What did we do wrong?" Asked Wendy.

"Okay, let's try and figure out the pattern here." Said Dipper. "Why was each person taken?"

"You guys might want to hurry up!" Called Cassie. "I'm not affected my the ghost directly, but I can't avoid everything forever!" Something crashed.

"Tambry was texting, Thompson was playing a video game, Lee was being sarcastic, it doesn't make any sense!" Dipper put his face in his arms.

"Yeah, I mean, those are all just normal teenage things!" Said Wendy. Dipper looked up.

"Wendy, say that last part again."

"Normal teenage things?"

"Of course! Stay here until I get back!" Dipper exited the cabinet.

"Dude! What are you doing?!" He began crawling towards Mabel, and looked up in time to see Cassie get hit with the slushie machine. She rolled onto her feet, holding her side. The slushy machine hit her again, knocking her down.

"It is over." Said Mabel.

"Hey ghost!" Called Dipper. Mabel's head turned 180 degrees to face Dipper, then her body followed suit. Dipper glowed. "I've got something to tell you!" Dipper floated up. "I'm not a teenager!" Mabel's eyes stopped glowing, and everything dropped. Dipper looked up at where Mabel was floating and saw two ghosts appear.

"Oh, well why didn't you say so?" The guy ghost dropped Mabel into a pile of snacks and drinks. "How old did you say you were?"

"I'm," Dipper looked at Wendy, then back at the ghost, "I'm twelve, technically not a teen."

"When we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store." Said the girl ghost.

"Always sasafrassing our customers with their boomie boxes and disrespectful short pants. So we decided to up and ban them, but they retaliated with this newfangled rap music."

"The lyrics, they were so hateful! It was so shocking, we were both stricken down with double heart attacks. That's why we hate teenagers so much. Don't we honey?" The two rubbed their noses.

"But, they're my friends." Said Dipper. "Isn't there anything I can do to help them?"

"There is one thing." Said the guy ghost. "Do you know any funny little dances?"

"Uh, is there anything else I can do?" Asked Dipper.

"NO!" Yelled the guy ghost, flames springing up from him.

"Okay okay okay! Um, well, I do know, the Lamby Lamby Dance. Bu-but I can't really do it without a lamb costume!" The guy ghost snapped his fingers, and a lamb costume appeared on Dipper. "Oh, well, there it is." He took a deep breath. "Well, who wants a lamby lamby lamby?" He sang as he danced. "I do! I do! So go up and greet your mammy, mammy mammy! Hi there! Hi there! So march march march" the guy ghose began clapping.

"Yes! More! More!"

"Don't don't don't you forget about the baby!" Finished Dipper.

"That was some fine girly dancing, boy!" Said the guy ghost. "Your friends are free." The doors opened and the lamb costume vanished.

"Well, I don't think you have to worry about us coming back, so" the ghosts vanished and the store returned to normal, which included the gravity. Everything and everybody fell down, and began groaning. Cassie was holding her side tightly as she tried to stand up and leaned against a knocked over shelf. Mabel sat up as Dipper walked over.

"Ugh, I'm never going to eat or do anything ever again." Dipper picked up the last pack of Smile Dip.

"Hey, there's still some left." Mabel stood up and knocked the bag out of his hand.

"Evil!"

"What happened after everything went crazy?" Asked Lee.

"You are not going to believe it!" Said Wendy. "The ghosts appeared and Dipper had to" she gestured and looked at him, then thought about another way to tell them Dipper saved the day. "Uh, and um, Dipper just grabbed a bat and started beating ghosts down left and right, and then the ghosts got all scared and ran away, like a couple of little girls! It was insane!"

"No way!" Said Thompson. The others cheered for Dipper. Wendy looked at him, then zipped her mouth closed and threw away the key. Dipper did the same to her. The group left the store and went back to the van. Lee and Nate agreed to help Cassie to the van.

"Well, I'm probably scarred for life." Wendy said to Dipper.

"Yeah, that was pretty crazy."

"I'm going to go stare at a wall for a while and rethink everything. Hey, next time we hang out, let's stay at the Mystery Shack, okay?" Dipper laughed.

"Next time? Yeah! Yeah, l-let's hang out at the shack!" He backed away and got in the car. "Next time." He looked at the store and closed the door. He, Mabel and Cassie sat in the very back.

"Oh." Said Mabel. She looked at her own message. "What kind of sick joke is this?" They drove away as the lights flickered off.

"I probably should've warned you, huh?" Asked Cassie.

* * *

COMI TXTKBMIOFU MIAM'L IAHHTFTR LG YAK, CT LMOSS QFGC FGMIOFU AZGWM CIAM'L IAHHTFOFU. MODT YGK WL MG RTSXT RTTHTK!


	6. Right or Want?

**Shoutout to johannvanguard for getting the last cipher! Anyways, I know I promised a chapter a day with my latest Digimon chapter, but life got in the way. My headset died on Thanksgiving, and then my mouse failed on me the next day, and I was finally able to finish this chapter! I'm so not hitting my 50k this month for NaNoWriMo. Anyways, enjoy!**

Life is heating up here, with all the supernatural events, defeating monsters and spirits. And I love it! I can't wait to see everything else play out the way I know it will! I'm so excited!

* * *

"I like to get my Christmas shopping done early." Said Tyler Cutebiker. He turned to Stan. "Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?" He walked over as Stan began scratching his head.

"Uh, how about these crystals?" He held out the basket. Tyler laughed.

"Looks like broken glass!"

"What are you, a cop?" Tyler turned around.

"Oh! What is that new thing?!" He ran off, and Dipper and Mabel walked in.

"Grunkle Stan" started Dipper.

"Can we go to the diner?" Finished Mabel. "We're hungry!" She wiggles her belly as she said that.

"Hungry!" Mimicked Dipper. They both did it, then hit their stomachs together.

"Sure, yeah. As soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." Stan pointed at Tyler.

"Do you have this in another animal?" Tyler pointed to an aptly named Fur Trout.

"I'm fine locking him inside if you are." Both twins nodded. The two noticed Cassie next to Stan.

"You three planning on going to the diner?" Stan jumped back.

"Gah!" He straightened himself out and coughed. "What do you think you're doing? Trying to give me a heart attack?!"

"Not intentionally." Stan shook his head.

"I swear you're going to kill me one of these days." He muttered. "You planning on coming with?"

"If you'll have me."

"Come along kids." Stan led the way, Dipper, Mabel and Cassie following behind.

"Hey! Where are you guys going?" Asked Tyler. He turned his head. "Oh! Look at that!" He ran off again as Stan closed the door and slid a piece of wood through the handle to lock it. The three Pines ran to the car while Cassie walked. Inside, Tyler was looking at two different shirts.

"Puma shirt, Leopard Shirt, Puma Shirt, Leopard Shirt, Puma Shirt?" He stopped for a moment. "Leopard Shirt!" The four got into the car and drove off.

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

A woodpecker was hitting the wall above a customer, and someone shooed it away. "Shoo!" She hit the guy's head, but he did nothing. A beaver began chewing on a piece of wood and the lady walked over and hit it with a broom. It ran off and she gave chase. The Pines and Mabel entered.

"Coffee! Coffee!" Breathed McGucket. The group walked past Manly Dan and Wendy, then Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland.

"Go go go go!" Said Durland. Blubs began shoveling pancakes into his mouth and Durland measured his speed with a speedometer. It began glitching and Durland began hollering. The lady continued chasing the beaver as she ran past the group, who were all looking at menus. Stan watched, then looked up as their waitress came up. Mabel put a spoon on her nose.

"Lazy Susan, there's my little ray of sunshine! Where were you yesterday?" He waggled his eyebrows.

"I got hit by a bus!" Said Susan. Stan began laughing and banging the table.

"Hilarious!"

"Thank you!" Susan began laughing.

"You do split plates, right?" Asked Stan.

"Maybe, wink." Susan lifted her eyelid to do the wink.

"Great! Well, I'll split a ¼ of a number 7, plus a free salad dressing for the lady" he pointed at Mabel, "plus a small plate of ketchup for the boy!" Susan walked off and Mabel tugged his shirt.

"But Grunkle Stan, I want pancakes."

"With the fancy flour they use these days?" Asked Stan. "Ha! What am I? Made of money?" As he waved his arms for emphasis, a bill stuck out of his sleeve. "Tap tap." It slid back in.

"Aw." Said Mabel. Dipper looked to the side to see a game and a sign.

 _Win Game Free Pancakes!_ Proclaimed the sign. The game showed a sign that specified it was a manliness test. Dipper got an idea.

"Don't worry guys, pancakes are on me. I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester."

"Manliness tester?" Asked Stan.

"Beating?" Asked Mabel. The two began laughing loudly at the notion.

"He says, he says" Stan couldn't finish that sentence.

"What? What's so funny?" Aske Dipper.

"Oh, no offense Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington." Mabel laughed again.

"Hey! I am too Manly, Manny or whatever it was you said."

"Look, face the music kid." Said Stan. "You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes and let's not forget last" Stan paused for a moment, "Tuesday's incident."

* * *

"Disco girl! Comin' through!" Sang Dipper in the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel, using the comb as a mic. "That girl is you!" Stan came in. "Don't come in! Don't come in!"

* * *

"You were listening to girly pop sensation Baba?" Asked Mabel.

"No, I wasn't, that's not important!" Said Dipper. "Look, come on guys, I'm plenty masculine! You see this chest hair?" He lowered his shirt to reveal a blindingly bright, smooth chest. Both Mabel and Stan covered their eyes.

"My eyes!" Said Stan. Dipper looked down.

"Oh man." He covered back up. Both Stan and Mabel laughed again. "Fine, family of little faith. Get ready to eat your words." Both Stan and Mabel shut up quickly. "And a plate of delicious pancakes." Dipper nudged Cassie, who didn't budge.

"No offense Dipper, but I have a better shot of beating that game than you."

"I'll show you!" Cassie sighed a got up, allowing Dipper to get out.

"Good luck." She sat back down and went back to her menu. Dipper walked over to the manliness game, and everybody turned to him. He stepped up to the game and cracked his knuckles.

"All right Dipper, time to manhandle this man, handle." He rubbed his hands together, and looked up. "And a one," he reached for the handle, "and a two."

"Quit stallin'!" Called Stan. Dipper grabbed the handle and pulled. The Wimp light came on, then more lights began to turn on. He gripped harder, then opened his eyes. The lights turned off, leaving him on the lowest level, Wimp. A paper spit out the lower slot.

"You are a cutie patootie!" Showed the paper.

"Oh what?! This thing must be broken! It's totally broken guys!" He turned to face everybody in the diner. "It's like a million years old, it probably ran out of steam power or" Manly Dan walked into Dipper, shoving him out of the way by just being there, and turned towards the game. He cracked his knuckles. "It's rickety man, you probably shouldn't" Manly Dan pressed his pinkie into the handle, and the figure at the top exploded. The head landed on the plate, scattering the pancakes throughout the diner. Manly Dan cheered.

"Pancakes for everyone!" The diner cheered, except Dipper and Cassie. A pancake landed on Dipper's head, and he lifted it. Both Mabel and Stan laughed at him while Cassie continued looking at her menu.

"I need to get some testosterone fast." Muttered Dipper. He ran towards the exit, tripping over the beaver as it came out of the floor. "I'm fine!" He ran out the door. "Everything's fine!" Stan turned back to the table.

"Yeash! How am I related to that?"

"Come on Grunkle Stan! I'm sure deep down you have a soft side too!"

"Ha! Nothing in here but a cold, dark, empty soul." Susan came back with Stan's order. She set it down, making him jump.

"Food!"

"Thanks there sugar pot! Uh, I mean, honey wasp, kin baby! Baby cow" he just continued getting worse.

"Haha! Silly, silly man." She looked at Cassie. "Can I get anything for you?"

"I've decided I'm not hungry." Cassie stood up and exited, heading after Dipper.

"Okay!" Susan walked away.

"What's up with her?" Asked Stan.

"What was that about?" Mabel countered.

"Nothing! I, uh, don't want to talk about it! Talk about what?" He began sweating. "Why is this table wet?"

"Wait just a second." Stan got worried. "I think I have an idea happening here!" Mabel rubbed her forehead. "You"

"No."

"And her"

"Stop it!" Mabel gasped.

"Oh boy."

"You have a thing for Lazy Susan!" Finished Mabel. "You do have a soft side!" Stan shushed her by putting his finger to her mouth.

"Keep it down, will ya?! All right, I admit it, okay? It would be nice of she liked me, but, I've been out of the game for so long I wouldn't know how to start. I mean, look at her. She's so classy."

"Spin ya dumb pies, spin!" Lazy Susan banged the top of the case.

"Grunkle Stan," Mabel made him look at her, "you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we will get Lazy Susan to like you, because nothing is stronger than the power of"

"Love?" Asked Stan.

"Mabel." Finished Mabel. "To victory!" She drank her salad dressing.

* * *

Dipper walked around town, thinking. "Not manly enough, stupid diner, stupid lumberjack." A hydrant opened, spraying him with water.

"Another hydrant destroyed." Said Blubs. "It's a gosh dang mystery."

"Want to take off our uniforms and run around in circles?" Asked Durland. Blubs was already out of his uniform.

"Quit reading my mind." Durland did the same and the two began running. Dipper continued getting splashed and backed away, running into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was looking for a the mailman." Said the lady. Dipper looked at her.

"Oh, what, are you saying I'm not a mailman? Is that what you're trying to say? I'm not male? I'm not man? Is that what you're getting at?"

"Are you crying?" Asked the lady. Dipper was struggling, then dashed into the nearby alley. He ran into the woods, and Cassie went up to the woman. "Did you just see that? Is he all right?"

"He's just having an identity crisis." Explained Cassie. "I'm trying to keep up with him to help him. See ya!" Cassie ran after Dipper.

* * *

"Two!" Said Dipper. "Three!" His hat was on a nearby stump, and he was bench pressing a stick. "Four!" His arms dropped, leaving the stick on him. He tossed it away, and sat up. He look into his shirt, seeing the same smooth surface. "No chest hair yet." He laid back down and cassie walked up. "Is it Physical? Is it mental? What's the secret?" He pulled out a packet of Real Man Jerky and looked at it. "You said it brother."

"Darn, I missed your attempts at bench presses." Dipper turned to Cassie.

"Oh, it's you. Come to gloat about you being right?" Dipper put down the packet.

"You are thinking way too deeply into it." Said Cassie.

"I need help." The ground began rumbling, and a very loud sound came from deeper in the woods. Dipper and Cassie ducked as the wildlife went past them.

"For the love of all that's holy, run!" Yelled Manly Dan as he ran past. Dipper grabbed his hat from the stump, and Cassie shoved him out of the way of a falling tree. They both rolled to the side, hiding behind a log. Something stomped up, and Dipper screamed like a little girl.

"Wait. Sorry." He tried to scream like a man, but began coughing.

"Is that really the best you can do?" Asked Cassie. They looked up at the mountainous being in front of them again, hiding behind the log. The being seemed to roar, but stretched and finished a yawn. He reached into a bush, pulled out a deer, and began scratching his back with its antlers. The deer got tossed away, and quickly ran off. The being then turned to the log, and flung it away. Dipper backed away as quickly as possible while sitting.

"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered, in like a week! And I'm like, all elbows!" He pointed at his elbow to emphasise. "Elbows and gristle!" The being took a step forward.

"You!" It pointed at Dipper as Cassie backed away slowly. Dipper gave a small scream. "Gonna finish that?" Dipper opened his eyes, looked at his jerky, then tossed it on the ground.

"No." The being began to eat it. "Can't believe it. Part animal, part human. Are you some kind of minotaur?"

"I'm a Manotaur!" Explained the being. "Half man" He slammed his fist into the ground, making both Dipper and Cassie jump, "and half, uh, Taur!" He slammed the ground again.

"So, did I, like, summon you, or"

"The smell of jerky summoned me! Jerky!" The Manotaur punched a tree, snapping it in half like a twig. He then grabbed a boulder, brought it to his head, and smashed it into pebbles with his head. He yelled again, and laughed. He began sniffing around, then began sniffing Dipper. "I smell" he stood up straight, "emotional issues." The wind began blowing his hair.

"I've got problems, Manotaur." Said Dipper, putting his hat back on. "Man related problems." The Manotaur sat down, making Dipper and Cassie jump again. He patted his leg. "Well, my own uncle called me a wimp,"

"Uh huh, uh huh."

"I kinda flunked this manliness video game thing."

"Mh hm."

"Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?"

"Hm, very well!" The Manotaur stood up. "Climb atop my back hair, child!"

"Uh, okay." Replied Dipper, nervously. Cassie shook her head.

"I'll catch up with you later. Good luck!" She walked away.

"Whenever she says that, I get scared." Muttered Dipper. He climbed on and the Manotaur began to run. He jumped through a tree and down a small cliff, causing Dipper you scream and yell. The Manotaur began laughing as he ran, and Dipper's face rammed into several miscellaneous tree related objects, including a bird's nest that was still occupied.

"Dude! Watch out!" The Manotaur didn't slow down, and jumped over the gorge. Dipper screamed and covered his eyes as the Manotaur slammed into a stone wall, breaking through and landing inside a cave. Dipper opened his eyes. "Whoa." He saw several more Manotaurs in the cave, all doing different things. He jumped down. "This place is amazing." The Manotaur he was riding stood.

"The gnomes live in the trees, the merpeople live in the water," they began to walk, "'cause they're losers! But we Manotaurs crash in the man cave!" He hit a gong with a bone, making it ring. All the other Manotaurs turned and looked. "Beasts! I have brought you a hairless child!" He pushed Dipper forward.

"Sup."

"Huh?" Asked the other Manotaurs.

"This is, uh" the Manotaur stepped forward, "Pubator, Testostoror, Putitor, and I'm Chutzpar! And you are?"

"My name's Dipper." Said Dipper. The other Manotaurs began voicing displeasure at his name.

"Weak!"

"The, uh, Destructor?" Added Dipper.

"Yeah, that's better."

"Improvement." The gong rang again.

"Dipper the Destructor wants us to teach him the secrets to our manliness!" Said Chutzpar.

"I need your help! Look at this guys!" Dipper pulled down his shirt, showing his bare chest. "Look at this!"

"I must confer with the high counsel." Said one Manotaur. All the Minotaurs huddled. "So, teach him our man secrets or what?"

"He's a human, I don't like him."

"I don't like your face!" The one who spoke before got punched by the one that spoke. The others joined the fight.

"I like these guys." Said Dipper, watching the fighting. A tooth flew by him.

* * *

Stan shuffled a stack of cards, waiting. Mabel walked in. "Okay Grunkle Stan! Welcome to the first day of whatever is left of your life! First, a before picture." Mabel took a picture of Stan, surprising him. He dropped the cards. Mabel grabbed the image, and looked at it. "I never miss a scrapbookertunity." She grabbed her scrapbook and opened it. "Deedly dum, memories!" The turned the page, and put the image in. "Let's start with some roleplaying." She gestured to Soos and Wendy. "Soos will play Lazy Susan."

"I'm soft, like a woman." Said Soos.

"Grunkle Stan, show me how you approach a woman." Stan began walking. "Remember, this is a safe, non-judgemental environment. I'll just be on the side, judging you based on a scale of 1 to 10." Stan walked up to Soos. He spat to the side and held out his hand.

"Can I borrow some money?" Mabel blew a whistle.

"This is gonna be harder than I thought."

* * *

"After a lot of punching, we have decided to deny your request to learn our manly secrets."

"Denied!" Said another Manotaur, then hit himself in the face.

"Denied?" Asked Dipper. He thought for a moment. "Ok, fine. That's okay with me. Obviously you guys think it would be too hard to train me. Maybe, you're not man enough to try." He put emphasis on the word man. Several of the Manotaurs gasped.

"Not man enough?!" Asked one.

"Destructor!" Warned Chutzpar.

"Not man enough?!" Asked the same Manotaur.

"He didn't mean it!" Said Chutzpar.

"I have three Y chromosomes, six adams apples, pecks on my abs and fists for nipples!" Dipper smiled.

"Seems to me you're too scared to teach me how to be a man." He put his hand to his ear. "Hey, do you guys hear that? It sounds like Bock-bock. Bock. Oh, that's weird, bocock, bocaw! Is that? Bawcowk! That sounds like, Bacaw! Yeah, a bunch of chickens!" The Manotaurs unanimously voiced their annoyance. They huddled again.

"I feel all weird!"

"He's using some sort of brain magic." They disbanded.

"After a second round of deliberation, we have decided to help you become a man!"

"Man! Man! Man! Man!" Chanted the other Manotaurs.

"Great! Thanks guys, whatever it is, I will not let you down!" Said Dipper. All the Manotaurs headed outside, and Chutzpar began the first lesson.

"Being a man is about conquering your fears."

"For your first man test, you must plunge your fist into the pain hole!" The Manotaur pointed to a sign next to a hole.

"The wha?" Asked Dipper. One of the Manotaurs went up to it and stuck his arm in.

"Pain hole, smain hole wah!" He began screaming in pain, swiftly pulled his arm out and ran away. Dipper walked up to it, and knelt down.

"Are you sure this is really necessary?"

"You wanna be a man, don't you?" Asked Chutzpar.

"Man! Man! Man! Man!" Dipper looked into the hole, and reached in. He yelled in pain.

* * *

"Alright, let's try to get that inner beauty on the outside." Said Mabel. "Smile harder." Stan attempted to smile, but got more of a pained grin. "Harder!" His face widened. "Perfect. Soos!"

"Sup hambone?"

"What do you think?" Soos looked at Stan, yelled and ran away, his sandwich sticking to the ceiling. He ran out the door and into the woods. Mabel sighed. "This is going to take some really great training music." She lifted a cd, put it into a stereo, and turned it on. The music began to play, and Cassie quietly came in and went to her room, attempting to avoid Stan and Mabel.

* * *

Dipper attempted to pull a large wagon filled with the Manotaurs and the horse that was supposed to pull it, attempting to get stronger. It didn't budge.

* * *

Mabel grabbed a few cucumbers from Wendy and put them on Stan's eyes. He grabbed them and ate them before Mabel turned back around. Soon after that was done, she took Stan to the bathroom and attempted to shave his chest hair, which grew right back after she lifted the razer.

* * *

Chutzpar sprayed glue on Dipper, ripped a chunk of his beard out and stuck it on.

* * *

Stan tried to walk while balancing four books on his head with Wendy and Mabel cheering him on.

* * *

Dipper walked across crocodiles as the Manotaurs cheered him on.

* * *

Stan attempted to scratch his back with cooking gloves on as Mabel held a sign that said Stop Scratching. Stan looked at her and she flipped the sign to make it read Eye Contact.

* * *

The Manotaurs held Dipper in place as they forced his eyes open, looking at two images. Chutzpar brought Dipper to the busted hydrant to drink water. Dipper attempted to drink, only to get sprayed away.

* * *

Mabel wrapped up Stan's gut, attempting to make it seem smaller.

* * *

Dipper jumped off a cliff.

* * *

Mabel again attempted to shave Stan's chest hair, and as she rubbed the razor back and forth the hair just kept growing back, and soon filled the bathroom. She made him stand straight.

aba

Dipper and the Manotaurs relaxed, letting their stomachs flop. Then, Dipper ran towards a cliff and jumped across. He landed on the other side, and gave himself a high five, sending him backwards enough to lose his balance and fall down. A little later, he found himself in a hot spring with the Manotaurs. "Guys, I just want to say that these last few hours have been, I, I feel like there's really been some growth!"

"I have a growth!" One Manotaur pointed to a bump on his head.

"Glurk, you are hilarious today!" Glurk clicked his tongue in agreement. Dipper relaxed against the wall of the water.

"It's just you guys took me under your wing and have been so supportive"

"Oh stop." Said Chutzpar.

"No, you know what?" Asked Dipper. "You really have been! I think I feel like I'm finally becoming a man here!"

"Not yet Destructor." Said Chutzpar. "One final task remains." Two Manotaurs walked in the background, and one whipped the other with a towel.

"Hey! Quit it!"

"You quit it!"

"The deadliest trial of all." Continued Chutzpar.

"I've survived 49 other trials!" Said Dipper. "Whatever it is, bring it on!"

"Yeah!" Yelled the three Manotaurs.

* * *

A Manotaur lit a torch and Chutzpar laid a few tattoos on Dipper. Three Manotaurs kneeled down and three others began drumming on their heads with bones. "Behold our leader, Leaderaur!" An older Manotaur walked forward, humming to himself.

"Is he like the oldest, or wisest, or" asked Dipper.

"Greetings young on" the old Manotaur got eaten by a larger one.

"Nah, he's just the offering. That is Leaderaur." Chutzpar pointed up and Dipper looked to see an excessively large Manotaur.

"You! You wish to be man?" Dipper beat his chest.

"Yeah!" Called the Manotaurs.

"Then you must heroic act, go to highest mountain" Leaderaur reached into his chest and pulled out a spear made of bone, "and bring back head of the Multi-bear." He tossed the spear to Dipper's feet as the other Manotaurs gasped.

"The multi-bear?" Asked Dipper. "That some sort of bear?"

"He's our sword enemy! Conquer him, and your manformation will be complete."

"Conquer?" Asked Dipper. He looked at the spear. "I dunno man."

"Destructor!" Said Chutzpar. "Is this yours?" He had gone into Dipper's bag and pulled out a cd case.

"Uh, no!" Dipper laughed nervously. "I dunno whose that is, I was just borrowing it, a friend's, not mine." The other Manotaurs began looking at each other.

"I dunno about this." Said one. Dipper walked back over to the spear, and picked it up.

"I will conquer the Multi-bear!" Leaderaur shot fire through his nostrils as the other Manotaurs cheered. Dipper ducked from the falling embers, and pat out the one that landed on him. "I'm okay."

"Go!" Said Laderaur. Dipper headed out and began heading up the mountain. He ran as fast as he could through the woods, jumping over logs and dodging between branches. He cut down a few that got in his way, nothing slowing him. He climbed up a tree, and looked at the highest peak, still a long way away. He went back down, got some water from the river and looked at the nearby deer. He nodded at it, and it nodded at him. Dipper continued his trek, jumping over missing sections of the path and climbing sheer rock walls, before finally coming to his destination. He pulled the spear out and looked into the cave.

"I'm coming for you, Multi-bear." Lightning crashed behind him.

* * *

"Okay Grunkle Stan!" Called Mabel. "You started like this, but you became" she looked away from the image to see Stan even worse than when he started.

"Can I scratch myself now?"

"No! No no no! Is that throw up on your shirt?" Stan looked at it.

"I dunno how to answer that." Mabel ripped the image and looked up in annoyance.

"Face it Mabel, your uncle's unfixable." Said Wendy. "Like that spinning pie trolly thing in the diner." Mabel looked at Stan again, smiling.

"Grunkle Stan, come with me!" She ran out of the room. "And leave your pants at home!"

"With pleasure!" Stan followed.

* * *

Dipper entered the cave, and stepped on a bone that snapped under him. He looked further into the cave to see more bones strewn about. He grabbed one. "What is a Multi-bear?" Something that looked like a rock stood, drawing Dipper's attention. The Multi-bear growled at him. "Oh, that's a Multi-bear." He looked up at the Multi-bear.

"Bear Heads, silence!" Multi-bear hit the one head that was still roaring. It roared again, only to get slapped a few more times. He refocused his attention of Dipper. "Child, why have you come here?"

"Multi-bear, I seek your head!" Said Dipper. "Or, one of them, anyways. There's like, what, six, six heads?"

"This is foolish! Leave now! Or die!" Dipper pointed the spear. "So be it!" All the bear heads roared at once, sending the scattered bones away. Dipper spun the spear and pointed it, prepared. Multi-bear charged him, but he ran around the wall and ended up behind him. Multi-bear swiped a pile of bones at him, and Dipper ducked behind a rock to avoid the pointy bits. He looked himself over as Multi-bear approached, then jumped on top of the rock. One of the bear heads roared and tried to bite him, only for Dipper to jump on it. He ran up and jumped on the next one that roared at him, then got in Multi-bear's back and began to choke him with the spear. The main head roared and Multi-bear backed up, but fell down, defeated. The dust cleared, and Dipper stood, ready to deliver the final blow.

"A real man shows no mercy!" Multi-bear sighed.

"Very well, warrior. But will you grant a magical beast one, last request?"

"Uh, okay." Said Dipper.

"I wish to die, listening to my favorite song." Both of them looked over at a stereo, and Dipper jumped off and walked over. "Tape is already in there. You can just hit any there you go, that's it." Dipper pressed the on button, and one of his favorites began to play. Dipper was stunned.

"You listen to icelandic pop group Baba?" He turned to Multi-bear. "I, I love Baba."

"I thought I was the only one." Said Multi-bear. "All the Manotaurs make fun of me because I know all the words to the song Disco Girl."

"Oh, you mean Disco Girl!"

"Coming through!"

"That girl is you!" They both sang. "O oh! O oh!" Dipper laughed.

"This is crazy! Finally someone wh-who understands! Uh, oh yeah. I guess I'm suppose to kill you? Or I'll never be a man."

"I accept my fate." Said Multi-bear."

"No! Really?" Asked Dipper.

"It's for the best." Assured Multi-bear. Dipper raised the spear, then stopped as a small noise came from his right. He saw Cassie exiting a circle, very similar to the one he saw her use during his fight with Gideon.

"We all know how this ends, right?" She asked. Dipper nodded.

* * *

Dipper stuck the spear into the stone before Leaderaur. "I'm not gonna do it!" The Manotaurs gasped.

"You were told the price of manhood was the Multi-bear's head!" Said Laderaur.

"Listen Leaderaur! You too Testosteraur, Pituitaur and, I dunno, whatever your name is, Beardy?"

"It's Beardy."

"You keep telling me that being a man is doing all these tasks and being aggro all the time! I'm starting to think that stuff's malarkey!" Many of the Manotaurs gasped. "You heard me! Malarkey! So maybe I don't have muscles or hair in certain places and sure, when a girly pop song comes on the radio, sometimes I leave it on, because dang it Top 40 hits are in the Top 40 for a reason! They're catchy!"

"Destructor, what are you saying?" Asked Chutzpar. Dipper turned to him.

"I'm saying the Multi-bear is a really nice guy. And you're a bunch of jerks if you want me to cut off his head!" Leaderaur got extremely angry and stood up from his throne. He raised his fist towards Dipper and broke the spear. The Manotaurs gasped.

"Kill the Multi-bear or never be a man!" He bellowed. Dipper was silent for a moment.

"Them I guess I'll never be a man."

"Boo!" Yelled the Manotaurs.

"Weak!" Said Chutzpar.

"Boo!"

"Hey guys! Who wants to go build something and knock it down?" Asked Chutzpar. The Manotaurs cheered and began to leave the chamber. Dipper kicked a rock and walked away. Cassie waited for him outside.

"You made the right choice, you know?"

* * *

"Spin!" Yelled Susan, still hitting the pie rack. "Spin!" Stan and Mabel walked in.

"Lazy Susan, listen." Susan stepped down from her stepladder. "I know he's not much to look at, but you're always fixing stuff in the diner. If you like fixing stuff, nothing can use more fixing than my Grunkle Stan! Also women live longer than men so your dating pool is smaller and you should really lower your standards!" She said the last part extremely quickly. Stan stepped forward.

"So, Lazy Susan, what do ya say?" Susan looked him over, and walked away. Stan sighed, and he and Mabel began to walk away.

"Hey!" Called Susan. The two stopped. "Here's my number, why don't you give me a call sometime?" The two walked back and Stan grabbed the paper.

"Really?" Asked Stan.

"Really!" Susan laughed. "Also, here's some pie! On the house! For you!" Susan set it down at the table and walked away. Mabel screeched in joy.

"We did it! When're you gonna call? You gonna call now? I don't have a phone! Let's buy a phone! We can put it on a credit card! Let's get a credit card!" Stan took a bite of his pie.

"Mabel, let a man enjoy his pie, huh?" Mabel looked out the window to see Dipper putting his shirt back on, holding his hat, with Cassie walking next to him. He put his hat on.

"Dipper!" Called Mabel. Dipper looked into the diner window. "It's me! Mabel! I'm looking at you through the glass! And Cassie! You too!"

"I'll leave you to this." Said Cassie. She continued walking even as Dipper stopped.

"Right here! This is my voice! I'm talking to you from inside!" Dipper looked around, then at Mabel and nodded. He went into the Diner. "Did you see me through the"

"Yes." Said Dipper, sitting down.

"What's wrong?" Asked Mabel.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Good." Said Stan.

"It's just that these half man half bull humanoids were hanging out with me"

"Here we go." Said Stan.

"But then they wanted me to do this really tough, horrible thing but, it just wasn't right. So I said no."

"You're your own man and you stood up for yourself." Said Stan. He took another bite.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you did what was right even though no one agreed with you. Sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?" Stan returned to his pie as Dipper smiled.

"Wait a minute!" Said Mabel. "Do my eyes deceive me?" She crawled across the table and looked at Dipper's shirt. "You have a chest hair!" Dipper pulled down his shirt and gasped.

"You're right! I do!" He laughed. "This is amazing! I really do! Take that Manchester! Take that Pituitaur!"

"Pituitaur?" Asked Stan.

"This guy has chest hair!" Proclaimed Dipper. Mabel plucked it and put it in her scrapbook.

"Scrapbookertunity!" Dipper was shocked and horrified.

"Don't worry kid, if you're anything like me there's more where that came from." Said Stan. He ripped open his shirt.

"Oh! Gross!" Said Dipper. The trio laughed. "Seriously, that's disgusting."

* * *

Tími til að gera meira könnun og læra meira!

* * *

Oh yeah, and here's something for anybody who reads all the way through. The first five people who send me a good character in PM will get that character turned into a Reality Shifter, set into any Reality you want. Things I'm looking for specifically are background info, appearance, character story, strengths and weaknesses. Anything else you deem needed for a character will also be appreciated. Remember, the first 5 who send me a good character will get their own story. They will be shorter stories than my usual ones, no more than a few chapters, but you get to choose how it goes. I can't wait to see what people come up with!


	7. Cloning Commotion

**Shoutout to johannvanguard for solving the last riddle! Enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

Gravity Falls is fun, but with so much that still needs to happen who knows if it'll all be done by the time Summer's over? Oh well, at least there's still some fun to be had!

* * *

Soos stood on a step ladder and put a party hat on a rhino horn. He stepped down then grabbed the ladder to move to another location. He walked past Wendy and Cassie, who were blowing up balloons. Wendy finished one, tied it and tossed it away. "How was I taught to blow up balloons really again?" Wondered Cassie as she inflated one. Stan stood in front of Dipper and Mabel, who were on the couch.

"Oh no, Mabel, I don't feel so good." Said Dipper. He moved his left hand next to his mouth, then mimicked puking, spraying silly string onto her. Mabel acted a shocked expression.

"Oh! Grunkle Stan! What did you feed us?" Mabel didn't attempt to hide hers, and instead chose to just spray Dipper. The two exchanged blows a few times before laughing. Stan scratched his nose as Wendy walked up to them.

"Guys! Guys! Stop! Something terrible just happened!" Both Mabel and Dipper were silent. Wendy then did the same thing the two of them were doing to each other. They continued messing around, Dipper and Wendy having a small fight and Mabel grabbing a bag. She began throwing confetti.

"Comedy Gold!" Stan snapped.

"All right, all right!" He grabbed the silly string and confetti bag. "Party supplies are now off limits." He walked away.

"Mr. Pines, whose birthday is it again?" Asked Soos.

"Nobody's." Said Stan. "I thought this party might be a good way to get kids to spend money at the shack." He unrolled a paper in front of Soos, showing a donkey with a removable tail.

"Nice." Soos gave a thumbs up.

"The young people of this town want fun, I'm smother them with fun!"

Dipper opened a bottle of Pit Cola. "Maybe comments like that is why kids don't come to the shack." Stan grabbed the bottle as Dipper poured.

"Hey hey! Hows about you make yourself useful and copy these flyers?" Stan held out a clipboard and Dipper grabbed it. Dipper looked it over, seeing the word 'Free?' at the bottom.

"Oh boy!" Said Mabel. "A trip to the Copier Store!"

"Calendars, mugs, t-shirts and more!" Said Soos, running over. "They got it all at the Copier Store! That's not their slogan, that's just how I really feel about the Copier Store."

"Save the trouble!" Said Stan. "You know the old copier in my office? I finally fixed the old girl up! Good as new!" He turned to see Cassie behind him. "Gah! How do you keep doing that?!"

"Your definition of good as new is far different from everybody else." She said. "I'll go help them figure it out. The three went upstairs to Stan's office, and Dipper pulled back the cover. A few sparks of electricity arced as flies began flying. Mabel gasped.

"Butterflies!" Dipper raised the top of the copier, breaking a few webs.

"Does it even work?" He grabbed a sheet of paper and tried pressing a button. He turned back to the paper when the copier did nothing. In doing so, he rested his hand on the copier.

"Careful Dipper." Warned Cassie. Dipper looked at her before the copier booted up, scanning his hand. All three looked at it. Dipper jumped, removing his hand, and the two twins backed away. Dipper leaned in a little, only for a large amount of smoke to puff out into their faces. Everybody began coughing and trying to clear the air in front of themselves. A paper came out of the slot and Mabel walked over to it. She grabbed it.

"Success!"

"Take another look." Said Cassie. The paper rippled.

"Huh?!" Mabel dropped it, and Dipper's copied arm gained color and peeled from the paper, becoming real. Both Dipper and Mabel screamed, with Cassie standing behind them waiting for just the right moment. The arm reached up, then flopped down, crawling very, very slowly towards them.

"Stay back!" Said Dipper. He tossed Mabel's drink at it, missing it by a few inches. Mabel screamed before Cassie grabbed her water bottle, walked up to the arm and dumped some on it. As soon as the water hit, the arm began bubbling and melting. Dipper and Mabel looked at each other. "Oh my gosh. Mabel, I think this copier can copy human beings!" They both looked back at where the arm was. Mabel gasped.

"Do you realize what this means?" Mabel brought up her silly string. "Blar!"

* * *

 _Strange things taking place_

 _Nowhere to hide, nowhere is safe._

 _Weirdness is in every case._

 _But our smarts combined_

 _will solve every puzzle faced._

 _That is a guarantee!_

* * *

Everybody gathered in the main room. "All right, party people!" Said Stan. "And Dipper." Dipper frowned. "Let's talk business. Soos, because you work for free, and you beg, I'm letting you be DJ."

"You won't regret it Mr. Pines! I got this book to teach me how to DJ r-r-r-r-ight."Soos held up said book.

"Not encouraging." Stan walked down the line. "Wendy, you and Mabel are working the ticket stand."

"What? But Grunkle Stan! This party is my chance to make new friends!" Complained Mabel.

"I, I could work with Wendy." Volunteered Dipper.

"You realize if you do, you gotta commit to staying at the ticket stand with Wendy. No getting out of it, just the two of you, alone, all night." Dipper turned to Wendy, to see her spraying a face on Soos's belly. Soos made it wiggle, making Wendy and Mabel laughed. Cassie sighed. Dipper smiled at the thought Stan had given him.

"I promise." He said as he turned back. Stan walked in front of Cassie.

"You have a job too." He said.

"And that is?"

"Keep a perimeter to keep little creeps out."

"So, basically Gideon, right?"

"Hey, you didn't hear it from me."

"Got it." Cassie ran into the back half of the shack to get a few things and Dipper headed upstairs. He put a bowtie on and checked himself in the mirror. He turned to grab a deodorant spray, then turned back to the mirror to see Mabel standing next to him.

"Ah!" He dropped the bottle and jumped back. "What?" Mabel turned to him.

"Uh, I can work the counter with you, Wendy!" Mimicked Mabel. "Let's kiss!" She made the appearance of kissing, as she imagined it. Dipper turned back to the mirror.

"Yeah yeah, laugh all you want, but I've devised a plan to make sure my night with Wendy goes perfect." He adjusted his bowtie again.

"Plan?" Asked Mabel. "Oh, you're not making one of those over complicated listy things, are you?"

"Psh, overcomplicated?" Asked Dipper. "Let me just" he reached into his pockets, grabbed a piece of paper, and unfolded it once, twice, a few more times, and then flipped it to the first part of the list, the last two of five pages hitting the ground. Mabel sat down. "Step one! Getting to know each other with playful banter. Banter is like talking, but smarter."

"That sounds like a dumb idea for poopheads." Said Mabel.

"Yeah, see, this isn't banter. This is what I want to avoid with Wendy. The final step is to ask her to dance." Cassie ran into the room and grabbed a few books.

"Sorry about barging in, I need these for the perimeter. Oh yeah, and Dipper, that list is way over the top. You don't need a plan. Now I'm back to work!" Cassie ran out of the room again.

"So, that just happened." Said Dipper. "Anyways," he daydreams about him and Wendy dancing. "If I follow steps one through eleven, nothing can get in my way."

"Dipper, you're the one getting in your way!" Said Mabel. She had been looking at the last few steps. "Why can't you just walk up and talk to her like a normal person?"

"Step nine, sister!" Dipper pointed to the list and Mabel rolled her eyes.

* * *

Cassie set the final book down, then looked back at her handiwork. "So, if anybody tries to come from any direction except the front, they'll be caught in one of fifteen different traps, each of them multiuse to prevent mistakes." She dusted off her hands. "Now all that's left to do is hide at the front and keep a good check on everybody coming in." She looked back at the shack. "And the party should be getting started in three, two, one"

* * *

The disco ball was spinning, lights turned on and Soos began pumping his fist to the music. Stan came out from behind a curtain, dancing. "Yada do! Yada do!" He looked at Mabel. "Can your uncle throw a party or what?"

"The energy! It's electric!" Said Soos. He looked in his book. "Uh, lightning, lightning" he began pressing keys, making many miscellaneous sounds go off in his attempt to find the lightning key.

"And if anybody wants to leave, I'm charging an exit fee of $15!" Said Stan.

"We've only got thirteen." Said Nate.

"We're trapped!" Exclaimed Lee. They began knocking on the glass, trying to get help. They happened to peek out at Dipper and Wendy, who were admitting people. Dipper looked around a bit, before settling on Wendy as she popped a piece of popcorn into her mouth. He pulled out his list and ducked to the side.

"Step one, casual banter." He sat back up. "So, here's a casual question!" He said loudly. Wendy looked at him and he coughed. "What's your favorite type of snack food?"

"Oh man, I can't just pick one!" Said Wendy. She leaned back in her chair.

"No way!" Said Dipper, without thinking. "Mine too!"

"Wait, what?"

"Uh, I mean, I mean" Dipper got very nervous and shoved a large amount of popcorn into his mouth. More people handed money forward, and Wendy put the bills into the case and gave them tickets in return. Dipper coughed and leaned over to the side again. "New topic, new topic!" He coughed again. Cassie looked down from the roof, taking a momentary break.

"Jeez, he really needs to learn how to not need a plan."

* * *

Mabel was dancing. "Go go! Work it! Work it!" She continued dancing to the side, sitting down in a chair next to someone. She grabbed her water bottle and took a drink when she saw a lizard on the person's shoulder. "Wow! You've got an animal on your body! I'm Mabel!"

"Hi! I'm Grenda. This is candy." Candy brought out her hand, which had forks taped on. She waved.

"Why do you have forks taped to your fingers?" Asked Mabel. Candy answered by sticking her hand into the popcorn Grenda was holding, and came out with a few pieces attached.

"Improvement of human being." Grenda grabbed a piece and fed it to the lizard on her body. It stuck its tongue out and ate it, making the two girls laugh.

"I found my people." Said Mabel.

"Remember dudes!" Said Soos. "Whoever, uh, party hardies? What? Gets the party crown! Most applause at the end of the night wins!" Soos held up the crown and Mabel gasped.

"Whoa!" Said Grenda.

"Wow!" Said Candy. Someone walked up to Soos, with two people in tow.

"Party crown? I'll take that, thank you very much."

"Who's that?" Asked Mabel.

"Most popular girl in town, Pacifica Northwest." Said Candy.

"I always feel bad about myself around her!" Added Grenda.

"Uh, I can't just give you the crown, it's sorta a competition thing." Said Soos. Pacifica laughed.

"Honestly, who's going to compete against" she grabbed the mic "me?" She turned to the partygoers. "Fork girl? Lizard lady?" She gestured to Candy and Grenda, respectively then laughed, along with her two conies.

"Hold me Candy!"

"Our kind isn't welcomed here!" Mabel turned to the front, and marched up. She closed Soos's computer.

"Wait! I'll compete!" Pacifica looked at her in shock. Grenda and Candy looked forward again, smiling. Mabel held her hand out to Pacifica. "I'm Mabel."

"That sounds like a fat, old lady's name." Scoffed Pacifica.

"I'll take that as a compliment!" Said Mabel. Pacifica was silent for a moment.

"May the better partier win." She snapped, and she and her cronies walked backwards into the shadows.

"Nice meeting you!" Grenda and Candy walked up. "She's going down."

* * *

Wendy and Dipper continued exchanging money for tickets, and Wendy really noticed the atmosphere inside the shack. "Whoa! Sounds like the party's getting nuts!" Dipper looked back as well. Cassie jumped down next to the ticket booth.

"No signs of any little creeps." The people at the front of the line backed away a bit. Cassie looked at Dipper and Wendy. "So, guess who Mabel challenged to a party off."

* * *

"Let the battle for the party crown begin!" Soos made the last word echo. Mabel began dancing. "Mabel comes out strong! Watch out Pacifica!" Wendy and Dipper watched from outside.

"I gotta get in there!" Said Wendy. "Cover for me?"

"Uh," Dipper laughed nervously, "um, well, I"

"Thanks man!" Wendy tapped his hat, knocking it up a little before rushing inside. Dipper looked inside to see her dancing, then looked back to his list, then back inside. He jumped back down, and went to the sign.

"I'll be back shortly! I'm sure Stan won't mind if I'm gone for a few minutes." He was just about to start walking when Stan grabbed him.

"Hey! What're you doing kid?! These suckers aren't going to rip themselves off!"

"Yeah!" Said a kid in the line.

"You promised, remember?"

"I did?" Asked Dipper. Stan took out a recorder, and hit play.

"I promise!" Stan slowly shuffled away. Dipper looked down, and Stan walked forward again, making Dipper shy away a little. He sat back down.

"Okay, that was Cassie level scary." He flipped the sign back around and sighed. Money and fingers were then shoved into his face. Dipper ignored them for a moment and took a glance back inside from his seat. "If only I could be in two places at once." He thought for a moment. The wind blew, rustling a few flyers next to him. Dipper got an idea and smiled. He looked around, and didn't see Stan. He flipped the sign around again. "Sorry guys! I have to go!" Cassie jumped down again.

"I'll cover for you for a minute." She said. "Just hurry up with your plan, and know it'll backfire and yada yada yada, okay?"

"Got it. Thanks!" Dipper ran off as Cassie flipped the sign again. "Ok, neat line please! One at a time!" Dipper ran to the office and opened the copy machine. He climbed up onto it and laid down. He pressed the button, then put his hand back down.

"I wonder if this is a good idea." The machine scanned him, and a paper came out showing his back. The paper rippled, and the second Dipper began to peel away, gaining color as he did so. He stood up, and turned to Dipper. "Whoa! I have a really big head." Dipper jumped down and faced his clone, who was ever so slightly paler.

"So, uh" they started. They laughed. "Sorry, you first." They were still talking at the same time, then got the same idea. "Stop copying me!" They laughed again. Dipper slapped his knee and the clone attempted to do the same, only to hit his funny bone.

"Ow! Ow, funny bone!" Dipper walked up quickly, and wrote a 2 on the clone's hat.

"I will call you number two."

"Definitely not." Said the clone. "You know what name I've always wanted?"

"Tyrone." They said. Dipper took a few steps back.

"Okay Tyrone, let's get down to business. I'm thinking you cover me at the ticket stand while I ask Wendy to dance."

"I know the plan, buddy!" The two of them brought out identical lists and unfolded them the exact same way. Dipper looked at his clone and shuffled away a bit.

"Hey, uh, we're not gonna get jealous and turn on each other like the clones in the movies, are we?"

"Dipper, please. This is you you're talking about." Said Tyrone. "Plus, hey! You can always just disintegrate me with water." The two leaned in and tapped their heads, then tapped each others heads.

"Okay, I'm going to go to Wendy now." Dipper went out of the room, followed by Tyrone, who went to the ticket booth. Cassie turned to him.

"Jeez, took you long enough Tyrone." She said. She leaned in and whispered. "Next time, don't take so long complimenting each other's intelligence." She walked away and went back up her path to the roof. Tyrone got started, taking people's money and giving them tickets. He glanced inside, and gave Dipper a thumbs up as he walked past the window. Dipper gave the same symbol back, then took a deep breath. He walked up to Wendy.

"Great news Wendy! I got somebody to cover the concessions for me!"

"That's awesome!" Said Wendy. "You can hang out with me and Robbie!" Dipper stopped dancing and looked at Robbie. "Robbie, you remember Dipper from the convenience store."

"Uh, no." Denied Robbie. He got an idea, and slung his case down. "Hey Wendy, check out my new guitar." He pulled it out and played a little.

"Whoa. Cool." Dipper gasped, and had a daymare with Wendy dancing with Robbie. His phone rang, snapping him out of it. He picked it up.

"Hey buddy, it's me, you. I just had the same jealousy fantasy."

"We gotta get rid of Robbie if I ever want to dance with Wendy."

"Hey Dipper! We're gonna go sit on a couch." Called Wendy. "Meet us when you're done!" Dipper gave her a thumbs up."

"Oh no! They're sitting on the couch!" Said Dipper. "We gotta think of something quick!" He looked around and saw Robbie's bike. "I've got an idea"

"I got the same one, but we're gonna need some help." Tyrone turned away to see Cassie in front of him. "Gah!"

"Taking over again now. Just make it quick." Dipper and Tyrone went back to the office and made a third Dipper. They explained the plan, and Dipper drew a 3 on his head.

"And that's where you come in, number three."

"But what if Robbie catches me?" Asked Three. "I'll be all alone!" Both the other Dippers agreed on one more clone.

"Four Dippers. This is a four Dipper plan." Said Dipper. He climbed up again and tried to make another copy. The machine gave a puff of smoke and began beeping.

"Oh, paper jam!" Said Tyrone. He jumped down from the desk and pulled out the paper. He laid it down on the ground, and looked away. The Dipper on it came to life and seemed to stand up. Tyrone looked back at it and yelped.

* * *

Cassie heard the yelp. "Paper Jam Dipper? Already? They're faster than I thought."

* * *

The Dipper from the jammed paper began making incoherent noises and it latched into Tyrone. He fell over. "Come on!" Said Three. "You're not going to make me partner up with him, are you?"

"Sh! Don't be rude!" Said Tyrone. He looked back to the new Dipper. "Hey buddy, hey. It's okay." The Dipper reached out like a baby and grabbed Tyrone's hat and face.

"Okay." Said Dipper. "Just one more clone."

* * *

"Always means forever!" Sang Pacifica. "Always!" She stretched the word, making her pitch so high it made a plastic cup in someone's hand break apart. The crowd cheered. "Forever."

"I used to sing like that, before my voice changed." Said Grenda.

"Pacifica pulls ahead!" Said Soos. Pacifica went in front of Mabel.

"Try to top that." She pushed the mic into Mabel's chest. "Oh, Grenda, by the way, you sound like a professional wrestler." Pacifica walked away.

"I want to put her in a headlock and make her feel pain!"

"It's not over till it's over, sisters!" Said Mabel. "Watch this!" She ran onto the stage. "Soos! Give me the 80sest, crowd pleasingist, rock balladyist song you got!" Soos pressed a button on a remote and the karaoke machine turned on. "Excellent." Mabel walked up. "Don't start, un-believing!" She sang. "Never don't not feel your feelings!" The crowd cheered and Mabel swung the mic. "Watch me do a flip!" Mabel jumped, and face planted. She looked up. "That was for you guys!" Pacifica looked around at the cheering crowd confused. Dipper walked up to Soos and whispered something to him.

"Dudes, would the owner of a silver and red dirt bike please report outside. It is being stolen right now."

"Wait, what?!" Asked Robbie. He jumped up from the couch and ran to the window. He saw two people riding away on his bike. Three and Four looked back laughed. Robbie ran for the door.

"Hey! Come back here!" He ran after the Dippers.

"Oh, tough break." Said Dipper. "I wonder who those guys are who aren't me because I'm right here."

"Now we're gonna bring it down for a minute." Said Soos. "Ladies, dudes, now's the time." Soos changed the music that was playing to a slow dance, and several couples began dancing.

"Oh snap! I love this song!" Said Wendy. She began rocking to the beat as Dipper watched. He turned away and Mabel ran up.

"Hey goofus! Now's your chance to ask Wendy" Dipper slapped his hand over her mouth and moved her away. "Now's your chance to ask Wendy to dance! Come on!" Dipper pulled out his list. "Go!"

"I, uh," Wendy continued listening to the music, and Dipper forced himself forward. As soon as he got close, he ran away. "I'll be right back!" Mabel opened her eyes.

* * *

Dipper and Tyrone were pacing, thinking. "Oh, I agree. You can't just go and dance with her." Said Tyrone.

"The dance floor is a minefield, a minefield Tyrone!" Agreed Dipper. The two turned to each other.

"What if there's a glitch in the sound system?"

"Stan might get in the way!"

"Robbie might come back!"

"There's too many variables!" Said Dipper. "We need help." The two came up with the same idea and dashed to the office. Dipper climbed up again and began making more clones. They all began working on plan B, then began discussing alternatives and potential variables. All eight clones and Dipper returned to the twin's room and continued working. Dipper tapped the lantern. "All right Dippers, gather around." All ten clones, minus Three and Four, lined up. "Now's the time. You're all clear on what to do?" All the clones nodded and got to work. They all moved out. Ten went to Soos.

"Hey Soos! Look! A glowing dot!" He aimed a laser pointer at the wall and Soos looked at it.

"Oh man, I'm so glad I turned my head." The dot moved. "That dot does not disappoint." Soos tried to grab it like a cat and Ten continued moving it. He went to the computer and inserted a disc. He closed it and gave a thumbs up to Seven, who was up top. Seven returned the gesture, then inserted a piece of glass onto a light. He passed the signal to Five, who closed the blinds. He then passed it onto Eight, who let down some money on a hook to keep Stan's attention, who was grabbing lots of marshmallows. He looked at it.

"Right, like I'm gonna fall for that." He grabbed a few more marshmallows, then jumped at the money. He flipped over the table. "Give me that money!" The money moved. "Money!" He continued chasing it past Six, who pulled a rope. A bell rang in the twin's room.

"There's your cue." Said Tyrone. "It's the perfect moment to ask Wendy to dance." Tyrone pushed Dipper to the door. "Good luck me!"

"I don't need luck. I have a plan." Dipper went down the stairs, then into the hallway. He gasped when he saw Wendy.

"Oh, hey man. What's up?"

"Wh-what are you doing here?" Asked Dipper. "I mean, wouldn't you rather be on the dance floor in like," he looked at his watch, "exactly forty two seconds?"

"I'm just waiting for the bathroom."

"Um, uh, okay." Said Dipper. He looked at his list. "Okay, small talk. Small talk small talk."

"So hey, let's say everybody at this party gets stuck on a desert island." Suggested Wendy. "Who do you think the leader would be?"

"I, uh," Dipper looked around.

"I think I'd go with this lunatic." Said Wendy. She pointed with her cup towards someone who was working up a sweat punching air. Dipper laughed, and put away his list.

"I'd probably go for stretch, over there." He pointed at a guy who was tall. "Because tall people can reach coconuts." The guy he pointed to was moonwalking. Wendy laughed.

"Speaking of tall, want to see something?" Wendy pulled out her wallet and showed Dipper a picture. "Those are my three brothers, and I'm" she moved her thumb, "bweop." Dipper laughed.

"You were a freak!" He covered his mouth and looked up at Wendy.

"Yep." She nodded.

"You know, kids used to make fun of my birthmark before I started hiding it all the time."

"Birthmark?"

"Uh, no, it's nothing! I uh, wo uh, why did I say that?"

"No way dude, now you have to show me!" Wendy leaned down. "Show me! Show me! Show me!" Dipper handed her his cup, took off his hat and lifted his hair, revealing a birthmark shaped like the Big Dipper. "The Big Dipper!" Said Wendy. "That's how you got your nickname! I thought your parents just hated you or something. Hey, I guess we're both freaks." Dipper put his hat back on and Wendy held out her cup. Dipper grabbed his and they tapped them together. They laughed, and the door opened. Pacifica stormed out of the bathroom, very upset. "Wait here?"

"Of course." Wendy entered the bathroom and closed the door.

"Hey!" Dipper turned to see his clones line up behind him, lead by Tyrone. "What're you doing up here? Number Ten has been distracting Soos for fifteen minutes! He's going to get tired of that dot eventually!"

"Never!" Called Soos.

"You'll never believe it guys!" Said Dipper. "I bumped into Wendy accidentally and things are actually going great!"

"That's nice, but not the plan." Said Tyrone. "Do we have to remind you?" Each clone pulled out a copy of the plan, and began reading a different part each.

"Oh man, you guys sound crazy." Said Dipper. "Look, maybe we don't need the plan anymore, you know? Maybe I could just go talk to her like a normal person." Nine gasped.

"You bite our tongue!" Said Seven.

"If you're not going to stick to the plan, then maybe you're not the Dipper that should dance with Wendy." Said Five. The others agreed.

"Guys, come on." Said Dipper. "We said we weren't going to turn on each other."

"I think we all knew we were lying." Said Tyrone. The clones surrounded Dipper and grabbed him.

"Whoa whoa wait!" They dragged him away as he screamed. Cassie peeked around the corner, and stealthily made her way down the hallway. She got to the meeting room just in time to see Dipper get shoved into the closet. "No! Wait!" One of the clones slammed the door, and Dipper stood up. "Ah! I can't breath in here!"

"Yeah, you can! Plus, there's snacks and a coloring book in there for you!" Dipper sighed and grabbed a snack. He ripped the paper off, grabbed a cracker, dipped it in cheese and took a bite.

"Okay, so now that Original Dipper, or Dipper Classic, is no longer fit for it, I nominate myself to dance with Wendy instead." Said Tyrone. "I've been around the longest, so it should be me. Right? I mean logically. Logically guys."

"Fair point, fair point." Said Ten. "Counterpoint, maybe I should get to dance with Wendy because I've been around for the least."

"That makes like, zero sense." Said Five.

"You make zero sense!" Said Ten as he shoved Five into Seven.

"Watch it!" Five shoved Ten back in response.

"Don't shove people!" Said Six as he shoved Five. Paper Jam Dipper spoke, bringing all attention to him. Tyrone walked up.

"Hey, you want some cheese and crackers buddy?" Paper Jam Dipper responded and Tyrone attempted to feed him, only to fail miserably. "Yikes." He thought of something. "Hey guys, what would you do if you were trapped in a closet."

"Break out." Said the other clones unanimously. They all looked at the open closet and Tyrone slapped his forehead.

* * *

"Did I not tell you that it would backfire?" Asked Cassie as the two ran down the stairs.

"I know, I know!" The two ran into the main party room and Dipper looked over the railing. "Wendy!" Five grabbed him, pulling him back into the hallway. Cassie went to grab him when she was grabbed by three Dippers and dragged as well. Dipper was pushed in front of the remaining clones, right in front of Tyrone.

"Come on man! Give it up! You're overpowered!"

"Hold on guys, think about it." Said Dipper. "We're exact equals mentally and physically! If we start fighting, it'll just go on to infinity!" The clones started agreeing, and Dipper suddenly lunged forward, punching Tyrone. Everybody was silent for a moment.

"Clone fight!" Called Nine. The three clones let go of Cassie, who walked out of the room to avoid the fight, and all of the Dippers jumped into the fight. Five started slapping Dipper.

"Quit hitting myself! Quit hitting myself!" Eight tackled him, knocking him off of Dipper. All forms of attack were used, blinding via hat, arm twists, slapping bellies.

"Guys guys! Come on, it's me!" Yelled Tyrone. Amongst all the fighting, one of the clones crawled under it all and nearly snuck away until one of them noticed.

"Hey! Classic Dipper's getting away!" Called Ten. Dipper turned around.

"No friends, it's me, Number Seven." Everybody looked at Seven.

"That's not me guys. That's not me!" Dipper's patch fell off, revealing the pine tree of his hat.

"Get him!" Said Nine. The clones marched towards him as Dipper walked backwards.

"Stay back, stay back!" He pulled something out of his pocket and pulled the string, making a loud pop and making a few pieces of confetti fall in front of the clones. The smoke rose up and triggered the fire alarm, which began spraying water everywhere. It rained on the clones, who all voiced their displeasure with a chorus of boos. Paper Jam Dipper said something that roughly translated to 'it's better this way for Paper Jam Dipper'. All the clones melted into puddles. "Huh, how about that?" Said Dipper. He looked back to see Tyrone.

"You!"

"Uh oh." Cassie walked up behind Tyrone.

"Boo."

"Gah!" Tyrone fell to the side.

* * *

Mabel was doing dance moves in front of all the party goers while Pacifica and her cronies watched with disgust. Soos flipped a record over his back and put it in. "One more song dudes, and then it's time for the bestowing of the Party Crown! It's gonna be the" he hit a key, which made an explosion sound. "Nailed it." Mabel approached Pacifica.

"Pacifica, I just want to say, whoever wins, it's been super fun partying." Mabel held her hand out.

"Aw, she thinks she's gonna win. Hey, did you hear that?" Pacifica held her hand to her ear and Mabel did the same. "People clapping for the weird girls? Yeah, me neither." Pacifica walked away.

* * *

Tyrone had gotten away from Cassie and held gotten Dipper into a choke hold. "Say it! Say I can dance with Wendy!" Dipper threw Tyrone's arm off.

"Never!" He put Tyrone in a choke hold, then stopped as he heard laughing.

"Wendy?" They asked. They ran for the railing and looked down, seeing Wendy with Robbie again. Robbie whispered something to her.

"Robbie!" Wendy hit his chest and they laughed. Both Dipper and Tyrone sighed.

"We blew it man." They said. They both turned around and sat down against the railing.

"I dunno." Said Tyrone. "You want to go grab a couple sodas or something?" They both smiled.

"And you wondered why I didn't intervene with the choke holds." Said Cassie. "Now, I'm heading down there to help Mabel."

* * *

"Let the Party Crown voting commence!" Yelled Soos. Pacifica looked around him.

"Good luck, Mabel." She frowned at her.

"Applaud to vote for Mabel!" Lots of people cheered as Stan walked up. He began clapping too, along with Cassie. "Let's check the applause-o-meter!" Soos raised his arm, bringing it to just beyond vertical. "Oh, oh! Pretty good!" Mabel smiled. "And your next contestant, Pacifica!" Very few people applauded, and Pacifica made a very aggravated face. A few more people clapped out of fear. Soos measured the applause, and it came just shy of Mabel's. One more person started clapping, putting them equal. "Uh oh! A tie! This has like, never happened before." Pacifica turned her attention to the audience, and spotted one person who was basically asleep. She ran over to Mcgucket, and held out some money. He sniffed it, grabbed it and applauded, pushing Pacifica slightly ahead. "Ladies and gentlemen we, we have a winner." Mabel looked away, dejected. Pacifica ran up again. "The winner of the contest is Pacifica Northwest." Pacifica grabbed the crown and put it on.

"Thank you George!" She said, saying the name weirdly. "Thank you everyone! Everyone come to the after party on my parent's boat! Woohoo!" A good portion of the people present cheered and grabbed her.

"Pacifica! Pacifica! Pacifica!" Grenda, Candy and Mabel watched them go. Mabel sighed and walked up to her friends.

"Sorry I let you guys down. I understand if you want to leave."

"But then, we'd miss the sleepover." Argued Candy.

"The wha?" Asked Mabel.

"We want to call our moms and sleep over here with you!" Said Grenda. "You're like a total rock star!"

"I have magazine boys." Added Candy, pulling a magazine out of her backpack.

"Really?" Asked Mabel. "You guys!"

"Maybe we don't have as many friends as Pacifica," started Candy, "but we have each other. And that's pretty good, I think." Cassie walked up.

"How certain are we that Pacifica even has friends?" She asked.

"Hey, yeah!" said Grenda. "That's right!" Mabel smiled then turned to Soos.

"Soos! Play another song! This thing's going all night!"

"Way ahead of ya, hambone!" Soos put on another record and played it, making the three friends dance. Cassie walked away and headed for the secret ladder.

* * *

Up on the roof, Dipper and Tyrone looked out. Dipper handed Tyrone a can of Pitt Cola and grabbed one for himself. "Some night, huh?" Asked Tyrone. They both saw a shooting star and opened their cans. Dipper sighed.

"Do you think we even really have a chance with Wendy? I mean, she's fifteen, we're twelve."

"I dunno man. I hope so. But we're making zero progress the way we're doing it. The only good conversation we had with her was when we didn't do any of that list stuff."

"I know. Mabel was right, I do get in my own way."

"Literally!" They said.

"Whoa." Said Tyrone. He made an explosion sound, and Dipper held out his can. Tyrone tapped it with his. Cassie got to the roof right then.

"Wait!" She said. She was too late as they both took a drink. They both lowered their cans.

"What's up Cassie?" Asked Dipper. Tyrone realized what just happened.

"Oh boy." He said. "Don't look now."

"Tyrone!" Dipper stood.

"It's okay dude. I had a good run. Remember what we talked about!"

"Uh, of course!"

"Hey, and quit being such a wimp around Wendy! Okay? For my sake!" Tyrone finished melting.

"Tyrone!" Dipper went down to his knees. "You were the only one who understood me." He poured out the most of his can, then drank the rest.

"Just slightly too late." Said Cassie. "I need to practice climbing that ladder." They went down, Dipper to the front and Cassie inside. Dipper looked through the window to see Stan counting his money and Grenda, Mabel and Candy still dancing, and Wendy still to the side nodding her head to the beat. He walked to the door, then reached into his pocket. He pulled out his list and took a final look at it before tearing it apart. He dusted his hands off then went inside.

"Dipper!" Yelled Mabel. "Where've you been?! Meet my girlfriends!" Dipper closed the door behind him.

* * *

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